not your typical annihilatrix (furiosity) wrote,
not your typical annihilatrix
furiosity

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Soviet Harry Potter

Translated from Russian by furiosity. Stolen from eleyvie via inity.


Communist Luminary, a St. Petersburg publishing house, has announced the release of Soviet Potter, a series of adapted translations of the famous bestseller novels by comrade Joanne K. Rowling.

The following books comprise the series, which is due to appear in the country's bookstores in the near future:

1. Harry Potter and the Weapon of the Proletariat
Harry Potter, son of two famous revolutionaries, is orphaned following a treacherous attack by the bloodthirsty Voldemort, leader of the Tsarist Secret Police. For an unknown reason, Voldemort himself disappears after a failed attempt to murder the defenceless infant. Ten years later, Harry receives a letter inviting him to attend Ilyich, a secret school for young pioneers-saboteurs. Young Harry is to face off with Voldemort in the struggle for the Weapon of the Proletariat, a magical rock that promises to immortalise the cause of the Revolution...

2. Harry Potter and the Secret Object
During Harry Potter's second year at Ilyich, he will investigate horrifying events tied to the so-called "Secret Object #2", located somewhere on the school's territory. Readers will find out who created this object and for what purpose, as well as meet a younger clone of Voldemort.

3. Harry Potter and the Enemy of the State
The cruel Blackie, member of the Tsarist Secret Police, Voldemort's right hand, former criminal and murderer, escapes from the GULAG. He is bent on one thing only: find Harry and take revenge for the defeat of his master, Voldemort, twelve years ago.

4. Harry Potter and the Challenge Banner
The main plotline in the fourth series installment is a socialist competition between the best schools of pioneers-saboteurs. They compete valiantly for the Scarlet Challenge Banner, but Voldemort is determined to use the event for his own counter-revolutionary purposes...

5. Harry Potter and the Bolshevik Party
In the fifth book, Harry finally establishes contact with a mysterious party of bolsheviks, whose primary task is to resist the loathsome Voldemort and his evil plans. Harry will also find out some shocking facts about the past of his most hated teacher -- comrade Snape, former White Army officer and counter-revolutionary, who today stands wholeheartedly behind Soviet rule... or does he?

Harry Potter and the Menshevik Leader
In the sixth year of Harry's Iliych School for Young Pioneers-Saboteurs, the events begin to unfold with heretofore unknown speed. Voldemort unleashes waves of terror against the peaceful Marxist English, destroying one dissenter after another. The action is comparable to the annual Zarnitsa championship amongst the Ilyich Houses, a favourite game of pioneers-saboteurs. In the meantime, an old Dialectics schoolbook (that was once owned by a student who called himself the Menshevik Leader) comes into Harry's possession. Following the guidance of comments written in the margins of this textbook, Harry becomes the school's best student of Dialectics. After reading this book, the readers will know who the Menshevik Leader is, whose side he is on in the final confrontation, and finally understand the true source of Voldemort's power.
Tags: fandom:hp, humour
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