not your typical annihilatrix (furiosity) wrote,
not your typical annihilatrix

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Fic: When in Egypt... [Ron genfic, G]

Title: When in Egypt...
Author: furiosity
Genre: Humour
Rating: G
Character: Ron Weasley
Disclaimer: JKR owns. I only play. You do not sue.
Length: 600 words
Summary: A Manticore take Hermione and her brilliant ideas.
Dedication: goneril
Beta: None.
Note: Originally written for a challenge at hogwarts_elite; first place winner.
Concrit: Always welcome and appreciated.

When in Egypt...

A Manticore take Hermione and her brilliant ideas.

That was the only thought going through Ron's mind as he opened his eyes and peered cautiously around himself. The last thing he remembered was picking up the so-called Displacer to examine it a bit closer. Well, that, and Hermione's shrill "No, Ron, don't!"

It wasn't his fault that she didn't tell him not to touch anything in the first place. How was Ron supposed to know that the thing was actually functional?

"You should have, knowing Hermione," said a matter-of-fact little voice in his head. Ron ignored it and turned to his right.

An old lady in Muggle clothes was seated next to Ron, in the same kind of large leather-covered seat as his. The lady was staring at him in unabashed surprise, her eyes wide behind tortoise-shell glasses with thick lenses.

"Er, hello," offered Ron. He dug his fingers into his hair and wondered if he could wish himself away from there.

"You weren't here just a minute ago," said the old lady in a raspy voice. She squinted at him. "Where did you come from?"

Great. What's Ron supposed to say? Oh, you know, I'm a wizard and I accidentally grabbed an activated Displacer unit, which threw me straight here. Er, where is here again?

Of course, Ron didn't say anything like that. Instead, he waved vaguely, indicating the narrow corridor to his left, feeling his face grow hot.

The old woman's eyes misted over. "Had a row with your girlfriend, did you? I thought it was you I saw with that blonde when we boarded the plane."

Ron nodded, unable to say anything else. A plane? The blasted Displacer put him onto an airplane full of Muggles? Oh, blimey.

Beside him, the old lady was nattering on about her youthful indiscretions. Ron was barely listening as his mind worked feverishly on his predicament.

"Say, that's a funny-looking dress you're wearing," said the old lady suddenly. She poked his robe-clad knee for emphasis. "Traditional?"

Thinking that he was about to dig himself into a seriously deep hole, Ron nodded again.

"Oh, where are you from?" The old bird was clearly overjoyed to have some company.

"Uh. Egypt!" blurted Ron, remembering that some Egyptian Muggles dressed similarly to wizards.

"Ah, Cairo. I remember when I was a wee lass..."

Ron had to fight to suppress a groan. Apparently, kindly old ladies were the same regardless of whether or not they had wands.

Wait a minute, that's it! Wand! Ron still had his wand, which meant he'd just have to sneak off somewhere private and Disapparate.

"Excuse me?" he interrupted the old lady's tale of the mysterious disappearance of a cat near Tutankhamen's tomb.

"Yes, dear?" She looked rather ruffled by the intrusion.

"Where is the lavatory?" asked Ron.

The lady gave him a suspicious look. "Past that curtain down the hall."

"Thanks!" breathed Ron. He sprang up and took off down the corridor.

"You'd best hurry, we'll be landing soon!" called the old lady after him, but Ron wasn't listening.


The Daily Prophet, April 24, 2005

The passengers of a Muggle aircraft were sent into a minor panic earlier today by a loud cracking noise from a lavatory. Apparently, airplanes are very unsafe; many Muggles are scared to board them, so any unexpected noises during the flight tend to upset people greatly. A terrified flight attendant forced open the lavatory door and lost consciousness immediately -- the red-headed man who walked in there previously was gone. Sources tell us that a Ministry Auror, Mr Weasley, is being questioned by a committee for upholding the Statute of Secrecy...

Tags: fic:character:hp:ron, fic:era:post-hogwarts, fic:fandom:hp, fic:genre:humour, fic:length:flash, fic:post-ootp, fic:pov:ron, fic:type:gen
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