not your typical annihilatrix (furiosity) wrote,
not your typical annihilatrix

HBP commentary, Part XIV

[03:02] seraphtrevs: Heee - I think all the houses should get a seekrit specialty power
[03:02] furiosity: slytherins get invisibility
[03:02] oddacity: gryffindors get like, flamethrowing power
[03:02] furiosity: ravenclaws get mind-control
[03:02] childish: Hufflepuffs get the pans.

Unfortunately (or is that fortunately?) I have nothing further to contribute on the subject of superpowers, and so I'm reduced to HBP commentary (previous parts). Now with a bonus pre-H/D drabble at the end.

Chapter 15 -- The Unbreakable Vow

In which the first four or so pages are spent discussing Harry's fangirls. I wish I were joking.

I'm seriously not sure whether to be amused or disturbed that Harry doesn't give a second thought to the idea that there are multitudes of girls wanting to get in his pants. It's amusing because my inner twelve-year-old is going "hee, Harry's hot!". It's disturbing because isn't Harry supposed to be the one with the "omg, stop giving me attention I don't deserve!" complex. Maybe in this case the complex doesn't manifest because he damn well knows he deserves the attention. If only Malfoy would pay some attention to him, too. Poor Harry, always spurned by the ones he loves stalks.

I wonder what Quintessence is and whether we'll ever see it again.

The situ with Ron and Hermione is why I will never understand portrayals (ficcish or meta) of Harry as lacking restraint -- this is one of a series of situations in which he demonstrates his ability to keep his mouth well and shut. He's got some socialisation problems, sure, but he's not a total troll.

I never thought I'd see the day Hermione gave a book nasty looks. I'm just sayin'.

"It seemed extraordinary that Hermione's mania for upholding rules could have abandoned her at this crucial juncture."
I just... addda... wibba? I still can't decide if he's being serious about the "crucial juncture" sentiment or if he's being deliberately tongue-in-cheek. Because if he's being serious: wow, way to be a drama queen, Harry. And honestly, I don't think I've ever met or heard about a normally developing, relatively sane sixteen-year-old boy who thought that girls tripping over themselves to get his attention was a BAD thing. o.O Clearly, Harry's gay. It's the only explanation! >.>

And when they're not discussing Harry's newfound stud status, it's back to obsessing over Malfoy. Too. Easy.

"Love potions aren't Dark or dangerous"
Hearing this from Hermione made me do a serious double take. And Harry disagrees only in the spirit that he's horrified at the prospect of getting bagged by Romilda Vane (who's probably too ugly for Harry anyway). But how is a potion that completely borks your free will not Dark or dangerous? I seem to recall a certain curse that robs a person of his/her free will. An Unforgivable Curse, natch. Forgive me if I can't appreciate the fine, delicate distinction between "feeding someone a love potion to bend their emotions to your will" and "casting a curse on someone to bend them wholly to your will". I mean, seriously, wtf? How is it not the same thing? In either case, you're fucking with a person's mind and making them do shit they wouldn't normally do, like marry you and knock you up when you're more hideous than an evil clown, and just as socially inept.

I suppose it's the same sort of blind spot that makes it okay for Harry to order a Bludger attack on Zach Smith during his Quidditch commentary, but not okay for Crabbe to hit Harry with a Bludger after Slytherin bitterly loses to Gryffindor. Or this is all going to be somehow logically explained in Book 7 though at this point I'm starting to lean towards "not holding my breath" rather than "sitting on the fence and waiting to see how it plays out".

Filch is "not a very good wizard". Is that the PC way of saying Squib? Just askin'...

I think it's very telling that Madam Pince appears the minute Filch's name is brought up. Pince/Filch OTP! Would that be Filce? Or Pilch? Pinch? >.> Shut up, even Harry agrees with me. Which isn't quite enough to stop me wondering: since when does Harry play mental matchmaker in his head, especially when two of the most hideous people he knows are involved. I wonder about Harry's other shipping theories. This whole scene is just of the "bzuh?" to me because, um, since when does Harry gossip about who's in love with whom? It must be the love potion Ginny's been feeding him talking.

I'm a little confused as to why the Hogwarts library closes before seven o'clock in the evening. Is this a British thing? I mean, the local libraries aren't open too late either, but they're all at least open until 8 or 9 in the pm. But this is a boarding school, is it not, with the staff living on the premises... does Irma Pince have a seriously taxing social life that prevents her from keeping the library open longer? Vulture-faced librarian by day, fearless crime fighter by night? Tune in next week for the next episode of The Shrill and the Bookish!

"Harry went to bed comforting himself" gave me a near giggleseizure until I read on. This is four times now that this has happened. *is twelve*

The "cruel but accurate" impression of Hermione jumping up and down in her seat every time McG asks a question has been done before. By Draco. But of course, that's not forgivable -- after all, it's Draco, and he's bad, and anything he does has that underlying layer of pure evil that can't be cleansed no matter what. When Ron does it, he's just being a petty little twerp. No problem!

I wish JKR would invent another catch-all adverb to refer to Luna's actions, since it's obvious she'll never stop abusing adverbs altogether. After one and a half books, "vaguely" just isn't quite cutting it anymore.
I feel so sorry for Luna. I know I shouldn't, because she's obviously far happier with herself and saner than any of these Gryffindor monkeys, but Harry's condescending attitude just makes me want to grit my teeth in his general direction. "Uncomfortable truths", is it? Gah.

Enter Ginny the Hero Who Saves Ravenclaws In Transfiguration Class. Even Though There Has Never Been Any Canon Indication That Gryffindor and Ravenclaw Have Transfiguration Together. I mean, maybe the houses are paired up differently in other years, but the thing is, there's never been any indication that anyone but Gryffindors is present at Transfiguration lessons. JKR's generally consistent about pairing up classes -- Potions and COMC with the Slytherins, Herbology with the Hufflepuffs, for five books -- in sixth year, the classes are smaller so things change. But Ginny and Luna are in fifth year, not sixth. DADA and Transfiguration have always seemed to be single-house affairs prior to sixth year -- in fact, the transfiguration lesson that just passed for Harry had zero mention of any Ravenclaws present (though Draco was in Snape's DADA class earlier, so obviously DADA is no longer a solitary affair). But this is all moot, because Ginny Has To Be Shown In An Awesome Light As Much As Humanly Possible. ALL SHALL LOVE HER AND DESPAIR. I think I may have said that once or twice before. It makes me wonder if the Hogwarts curriculum depends wholly on which subplot the author wants to advance today. Which is not a bad thing in itself, other than being extremely shitty, illogical planning.

And now, let's focus on Luna's protuberant eyes. She's like a house-elf in a way. So even though Harry's asking her to Slughorn's party, he's not the least bit interested in her. I mean, you can't possibly expect the Chosen One to end up with a girl who looks like a house-elf, can you? No, he's going to end up with the one who looks like his mother, but we're getting ahead of ourselves.

"said Luna, beaming as he had never seen her beam before"
...*valiantly avoids any mentions of Scotty*

Luna is "so excited" that Harry is taking her to the party, quoth Ginny. I wish these self-important little twerps would stop being so condescending about one of the most interesting characters in the whole series.

And not only is Hermione glaring at books in this chapter, she's playing with her food like a three-year-old. I love that the females in the series turn into total twits when they're in lurve. Except for Ginny, of course. She's cool. ALL SHALL LOVE HER AND... you know the drill.

And now we have Parvati and Hermione beaming at each other. What's with the beaming? Foreshadowing to Book 7 when our fearless heroes meet up with Scotty and join Captain Kirk on an exciting space adventure?

I was positively howling at the "I like *really good* Quidditch players" scene. Hey, I'll never claim my shipper bias never enters my mind as I read the canon. Viktor/Hermione FOREVA!!!!1

"Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge."
Oh, dramatise.

There's an unusually large number of girls in the Entrance Hall. Usually there are only about 6-8 of them but this time there's at least two score! Poor Harry, no wonder he's so angsty. So many women to choose from, and he so gay.

Luna's father's bizarre views being repeated by Luna in no way make Harry ever wonder if perhaps the Slytherin kids aren't doing the same thing -- not to mention for the same reasons. This is so strange to me.

The sounds of loud conversation were growing louder. Ladies and gents, I give you Joanne Kathleen Rowling, greatest living British author.

When Arthur's tent in GoF is large enough to accommodate the entire Weasley brood minus Molly plus Harry, it's neat and magical and awesome. When Slughorn's office is large enough to accommodate the dear fat professor and Kinney knows how many students and guests, it's "trickery". All right then!

Luna's wearing spangled robes, whereas Slughorn is apparently wearing a Muggle smoking jacket. Does that go over his robes? Or is he kickin' it Muggle-style to make up for all those mean, sly suggestions that pure-blood students are better than Muggle-born ones? I really need to update that guide to wizard clothing to include HBP material.

Poor Sanguini. All that girlflesh and no quarter. The things we do for love. Sanguini/Worple OTP!

I love that Harry doesn't just abandon Luna the minute he's distracted by something shiny. Not that I'm reading shippy context into it, I just think it's decent of him to remember who he came with. And don't forget who's takin' you home and in whose arms you're gonna be... so darlin', save the last dance for me. No, no, no shippy context at all. HARRY/LUNA OTP OTP!!!!!11 >.>

I enjoyed the Trelawney-Harry-Slughorn-Snape interplay the most in the past few chapters. None of it is actually moving the plot along in the slightest, but it's fun to read -- it's the kind of character interaction I love seeing. And I suppose it helps that JKR seems to have abandoned the fat jokes every time Slughorn's around. Probably realised that she's made her point already.

Rotfang Conspiracy FTW!

Filch is dragging Draco by the ear. I'm pleasantly surprised that Draco isn't screeching "get your hands off me, you filthy Squib!"

It occurred to me at this point that Draco may not have actually been telling the truth when he "admitted" he was trying to gatecrash. Filch found him upstairs, not at the doors. Draco had no interest in Slughorn's party, did he, I mean -- he's thoroughly unhappy when Slughorn lets him stay there. Or was he trying to gatecrash because he wanted in on some of the hawt vampire action? It's completely unclear, but it seems to me that there's no reason for Draco to be at the party when there's a Vanishing Cabinet upstairs that needs fixing.

Harry's not the most reliable of narrators, but he thinks Snape looks afraid as he stares at Draco after Slughorn lets him stay. Um, why? What's Snape afraid of? That Draco's going to get himself killed prowling the halls of Hogwarts at night, and thereby kill Snape too? Does. Not. Compute.

I love that Malfoy's sucking up to Slughorn about his amazing potion talent with Snape standing right next to him. Bwah. I love it even more that Harry's fussing over Draco's skin tone. Those two are so adorable.

"I'm his Head of House, and I shall decide how hard, or otherwise, to be."
I love the sound of a million Snaco shippers shouting gleefully.

Harry's Invisibility Cloak fits in his pocket? Wow, that must be one huge pocket. Or one very thin Invisibility Cloak.

"Perhaps Snape had taken Malfoy to his office in the dungeons..."
Oi, Snaco shippers. Pipe down.

And here we have pissed-off!Draco at his finest. No more level-headed or cool than Harry, thanks. QED is all I can say. But still, no capslock. I just wonder how the fuck Snape puts up with him. XD Steal my glory. *snort*

I must admit I was a little surprised that Harry didn't set off after Draco to see what he would do. I mean, he knows that Crabbe and Goyle are in detention and Draco is pissed off and might let something slip. Or they could settle their differences in a more pleasant way. What's a blowjob or two between you and a bitter rival? Hey, I'm only trying to be reasonable. XD

Actually, this is one of those moments in HBP where a ficcer could simply pick up after "Harry remained on the floor, hidden beneath the Cloak, his mind racing." Something like...

"It suddenly dawned on him that Malfoy would be alone, and if Harry wanted to find out what he was doing, maybe he could follow Malfoy without interference this time... everyone was at the party... Without a second thought, Harry sprang to his feet and raced down the corridor in the direction Malfoy had disappeared. As he turned into the adjoining corridor, he saw that Malfoy hadn't gone much further than the corner. He was standing at one of the arched windows that overlooked the courtyard, shoulders hunched, looking like he was about to vomit, or throw himself out of the window. Making as little noise as possible, Harry closed the distance between them, taking care to stay away from the torches ensconced in the walls -- the dancing flames might betray his movement if he strayed too close..."

You get the idea. After all, the next chapter picks up at least a whole day later. Who knows what Harry got up to in that dark corridor... >.>
Tags: criticism, fandom:hp, half-blood prince commentary, meta:canon
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