not your typical annihilatrix (furiosity) wrote,
not your typical annihilatrix
furiosity

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HBP commentary, Part XXI

[09:41] furiosity: i just wrote "locust" instead of "locket"
[09:41] evilsource: *dies*
[09:41] furiosity: what would Dr Freud make of that?
[09:41] evilsource: oh christ
[09:41] furiosity: i have locust penis envy?
[09:41] eye_knead_name: A plague be upon your house?
[09:41] furiosity: what does a locust penis look like, anyway
[09:41] furiosity: o.O
[09:42] evilsource: small?
[09:42] furiosity: i am still boggled at the fact that i have uttered the phrase 'what does a locust penis look like'
[09:42] prncssleia: *avoids pin prick pun at all costs*

HBP commentary (previous parts).


Chapter 22 -- After the Burial

"For the last time, just forget about Malfoy." [Hermione to Harry]
It's like... every emofic evar! *tear*

untidy sprawl
Hagrid is so awesome, his writing gets its own verb that doesn't mean what JKR thinks it means. Dear JKR's editor, you're fired. Sincerely, f.

"for heaven's sake [Hermione]
Yes, Virginia, people in the Harry Potter books do refer to Christian biblical concepts in their dialogue. Though I wonder, for the really hardcore Merlin-abusers, what is heaven?

I love how Ron remembers Aragog's exact words to him and Harry. Traumatised!

And then there's talk of tight security again, and what'll happen if Harry is caught. What will happen? What are they going to do? Expel the Boy Who Lived?

The thought of that little golden bottle had hovered on the edges of his imagination for some time; vague and unformulated plans that involved Ginny splitting up with Dean, and Ron somehow being happy to see her with a new boyfriend, had been fermenting in the depths of his brain, unacknowledged except during dreams or the twilight time between sleeping and waking...

HARRY'S MIND: lol gay for Malfoy
HARRY'S IMAGINATION: noz! Totes not gay! ILGINNY, KTHX!
HARRY'S MIND: lol gay
HARRY'S IMAGINATION: GINNY IS HOTT
HARRY'S MIND: lol needs to know what Malfoy is doing inside u
HARRY'S IMAGINATION: STFU. GINNY IS HOTT. TOTES PORKING GINNY NOW, K
HARRY'S MIND: lol obsessed with Malfoy
HARRY'S IMAGINATION: LOL K U HAEV A POINT. GINNY IS STILL HOTT THO :(

...and that's what happened.

>.> I'll be over there.

Ahem.

Ahah, I love Ron hiding from Lavender and then being all nonchalant about it. So Ron. <33333

"What do you mean, something 'amusing'?" [Draco]
lol aw, bless. I can just see him standing there, pointy nose quivering with irritation.

More emofic fodder! Harry's totally taking stock of Draco's greyish, thin, un-smug appearance. And then goes back to his dormitory and tries unsuccessfully to fantasise about girls. Awww.

Your mother's genes [Slughorn]
Um. Wizards? Genetics? Wizards + science =/= OTP, or so we've been led to believe. So how in the fuck does Slughorn refer to genetics so readily? Shouldn't it be "your mother's blood"? Bueller?

Random factoid extrapolated from Draco's choice for an amusing potion: Draco thinks hiccoughs are amusing. D'awwwww. I'm becoming so convinced that he's going to kick the bucket in book 7 that it's hard for me to conjure up much more than "awwww" at anything he does at this point. sad panda! ;_;

Aw, Ron and his half eyebrow. XDD Also, it appears I'm going "aw" a lot about Ron, too. This is most unsettling. I DUN WANT RON TO DIE D:

You know what's weird? Felix Felicis isn't used all that much in fic, considering what an easy pr0n enabler it is. I wonder why.

I always have heart palpitations at smug, arrogant, confident Harry. This is one of my favourite chapters in the whole series because it's like a glimpse into a Slytherin!Harry AU that's actually canon.

this evening, he was the luckiest person at Hogwarts
I'm surprised he didn't manage to get laid, then.

Ahah, Harry is seized by an urge to reveal himself. *gigglesnort* *is twelve* And this particular urge is to reveal himself to Slughorn. And then they berate the chanficcers. Honestly.

Slughorn mentions his salary not being large -- I wonder if he's just being a miser or if Dumbledore is stingy? Is Dumbledore even the one who pays the bills for Hogwarts? We know he has a hand in the orphan fund, but. Aaaargh, so much still to know. Plz to be publishing that guide to the wizarding world, JKR. Though likely I'm overthinking this and it's just JKR's way to poke meta-fun at the British edumacation system.

what Aragog would have liked most about Slughorn was the ample amount of edible flesh he provided
Oh, there we go. And I thought she'd grown tired of the lol fatty jokes in Slughorn's direction.

If I didn't say this before, I'll say it now: HAGRID IS INSANE. Happy memories of Aragog, indeed. O.o

Hagrid also appears to be suffering from memory loss. He says that before the spiders, there'd never been an area of the forest he couldn't go. Um, I guess he forgot all about the OotP centaurs.

Also, just randomly: WHY IS SLUGHORN WEARING TIES AND SMOKING JACKETS. D:

Factoid: Slughorn and Harry are the same height; neither can reach further than Hagrid's elbow (well, that, or one of them has freakishly long arms). However, Harry is much, much, skinnier than Slughorn, and if you accidentally forget that, I'm sure we'll be reminded of just how fat Slughorn is in the next paragraph. Oh snap.

Jo Rowlling's Rules of Character Development, #238998: When things are going right, Slytherins do not smile or look pleased or twinkle. They wear satisfied smirks.

I love that Slughorn mentions house-elves tasting all of his liquids, and Harry doesn't wonder what Hermione would say if she heard.

Anyway, burial, blah blah fishcakes, bye bye Aragog.

Heh, teachers boozing with a student. Way to be professional there, Hagrid and Slughorn!

Reminder: Lily was brave and funny like Ginny. Just in case anyone forgot.

It's interesting that Felix Felicis also seems to grant a measure of precognition. I'm not being sarcastic, by the way. It is interesting! >.>

I am the Chosen One. [Harry]
Neo: No, I am the Chosen One!
Luke Skywalker: What? I am the Chosen One!
Ted Logan: Dude, I'm totally the Chosen One, wtf?
Jesus: lol n00bs. -_-

Yeah, it's an icon. But every time I read that line I think of that icon. Slytherin!Harry is totally hot.
Tags: criticism, fandom:hp, half-blood prince commentary, meta:canon
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