not your typical annihilatrix (furiosity) wrote,
not your typical annihilatrix

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HBP commentary, Part XXIII

[07:26] furiosity: you like fish slappage? :D
[07:26] queenly: *snickers* When it's done proper.
[07:26] furiosity: yeah, none of that 'light' slapping, or 'holding the fish by anything but the tail"
[07:27] queenly: And the fish must be of good size and slickness.
[07:27] imadra_blue: i could make a really nasty lesbian joke here, but i refrain out of gryffindor sensibility and propriety.
[07:27] furiosity: gryffindors have sensibility and propriety?
[07:27] imadra_blue: that was the punch line.

HBP commentary (previous parts).

Chapter 24 - Sectumsempra

I love that Harry is satisfied that Ron and Hermione are impressed by his tales of Horcruxes. These are the people he lives to impress, mk. His friends. Not Draco Malfoy. Just sayin'.

I find it interesting that Ron can make it snow without actually applying any conscious thought to what he's doing with his wand. Is that something that's just one of those totally random things, like wild magic only with a wand, or do the wand waver's personality/thoughts have any bearing on just what happens when they kind of wave their wand vaguely at the ceiling. And why is it fake snow?

"It was pretty bad while she was yelling, but at least I didn't have to finish it."
Oh, Ron. *cuddles* But the other thing is that Lavender actually yelled at him. Go girl! :D

his insides were suddenly dancing the conga
Does that mean the chest monster was dancing the conga? That gives me... interesting mental images.

"Oh, something really silly . . . She said he was always trying to help her through the portrait hole, like she couldn't climb in herself . . . but they've been a bit rocky for ages."
Well, of course they have been. Ginny is not a stupid girl; she's seen Harry's googly-eyed looks in her direction. I bet that for the duration of those "ages" she's been itching for an excuse to ditch Dean. Such an honourable young woman, our Ginny.

Neither of them seemed to have noticed that a fierce battle was raging inside Harry's brain:
Because normally, people notice raging battles inside other people's brains all the time! Oh Harry, you're so self-absorbed.

I'm actually rather surprised that Felix Felicis takes only six months to make. I mean, okay, it's a complicated potion, but it seems like, well, a rather easy out. I want to know why the Order and Voldemort aren't brewing it by the cauldronful? That's one thing that really frustrates me about JKR's magic; it's so bloody unbalanced. I mean, someone with enough determination (to make the potion, that is) can basically ensure that everything goes well at crucial points in his or her life. Yeah, FF is supposedly addictive, but clearly not that addictive, or Harry would be having heart palpitations at the thought of taking more. And whatever happened to that cauldron of FF that Slughorn had on display during their first Potions lesson?

but he was considering trying it out on McLaggen next time he came up behind him unawares.
O RLY? And here I thought attacking from behind was something only nasty, vile Slytherins did. Tsk, tsk, Harry.

but Harry had the distinct feeling as he walked away that Dean and Seamus were muttering mutinously behind his back.
Yeah, because Dean Thomas is SO unreasonable; he's totally forgotten that he was just a stand-in. Why is it that people who are in Harry's way are always portrayed in an unfavourable fashion? Yeah, Harry's POV and all that, but it seems that in this case a perfectly nice, friendly roommate of Harry's begins behaving poorly just because Harry's jealous said roommate porked Ginny first. Fail.

Ginny did not seem at all upset about the breakup with Dean; on the contrary, she was the life and soul of the team.
Well, of course she didn't seem upset. Dean was just a plot device to make Harry jealous, after all, not a real person or anything. It's not like Ginny and Dean were going out together for nearly a year or anything like that. I wonder if she's just incapable of being in a serious relationship? Or is it that she's incapable of being in a serious relationship with anyone but Harry? Knowing Rowling, I'm guessing it's the latter. Because omg, he's been her one true love since she saw his picture in the paper! Isn't that so romantic? Danielle Steel, eat your heart out.

Her imitations of Ron anxiously bobbing up and down in front of the goal posts as the Quaffle sped toward him, or of Harry bellowing orders at McLaggen before being knocked out cold, kept them all highly amused.
Aw, isn't that cute? When Draco does imitations, it's evil and cruel. When Ginny does them, it's OMG FUNNY. Because see, it's different. Draco does impressions of people he doesn't like because he wants others to laugh at the expense of the people he doesn't like. Ginny is doing impressions of people she likes because she wants everyone to laugh at the expense of people she likes! Wait... that sounds wrong, doesn't it? Yeah, I thought so. Ginny the saint.

Yet Harry could not help himself talking to Ginny, laughing with her, walking back from practice with her; however much his conscience ached, he found himself wondering how best to get her on her own.
I'm confused here -- Harry's obviously giving her all the right signals and it's plain as day that she ditched Dean for more than just trying to help her through the portrait hole. If Ginny is so feisty and independent and a Real Woman, why doesn't she ask him out? Or would that be degrading? Seeing as he OMG DID NOT RETURN HER AFFECTIONS WHEN SHE WAS ELEVEN!11

Anyway, I wonder why Slughorn gave up the parties -- that never does get explained anywhere. I guess they stopped serving their purpose as a plot point and it was time to let them go. Oh, hi, there, Dean old chap, didn't see you there in the plot point corner.

And you know what? THIS would have been the chapter that would've sold me on Harry/Ginny if only Rowling had bothered to actually show these moments of Ginny's amazing hilarity and all those purported jokes Harry reports laughing at. You know, actually give her character a dimension instead of saying it's there? Yeah, no, I will NEVER like Harry/Ginny, even though of course DH is going to end with Harry, Ginny, and ten billion babies living until they're 200 and dying simultaneously.

he had the nagging worry that if he didn't do it, somebody else was sure to ask Ginny out soon: He and Ron were at least agreed on the fact that she was too popular for her own good.
Again, man, WHERE is this popularity manifested? Where had it come from? I mean, okay, JKR, you want Ginny to be popular because she's you Harry's love interest and therefore must kick major ass, but throw me a bone here? She was barely to be seen in the previous five books and now suddenly she's Miss Popularity, even though we don't know who any of her friends are and what exactly it is that's made her so popular...? And no, I don't buy the "SHE'S A SLUT!1" philosophy because I really don't want to think of Harry being in love with the school slut. I think he suffers enough as it is, kthx.

for surely this was a case for, as Hermione put it, "tweaking the circumstances"?
Of course! Because Ginny is already predisposed to go out with Harry, just as Slughorn was predisposed to be persuaded to be parted with his memory. I love that it never even enters Harry's mind that Ginny might refuse or even not like him in that way any more. I don't get how people tout this as "realistic teenage romance" when um, teenagers generally DO angst quite a bit about whether the object of their affections likes them back. Here, Harry angsts mostly about Ron's reaction because hey, who wouldn't want to go out with the Boy Who Lived, right? Or something. o.O

(a tall order, and yet Harry had never known his team to fly better)
Never in the whole 6 months since he's been captain! Amazing!

The run-up to this crucial match had all the usual features: members of rival Houses attempting to intimidate opposing teams in the corridors; unpleasant chants about individual players being rehearsed loudly as they passed;
But... this is the Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw match! I thought only Slytherins were capable of something as underhanded and nasty as an unpleasant chant about individual players? At least, there have been no nasty chants prior to OotP, when Draco composed the immortal Weasley Is Our King.

Speaking of Ron, why is he suddenly throwing up due to nerves? He didn't throw up when facing a GIANT FREAKIN SPIDER when he was twelve, but now he's throwing up before matches so Harry can have a few moments alone? Classy. The discarded plot point corner's getting a little crowded, JKR.

but then he saw Malfoy's tiny, labelled dot standing in a boys' bathroom on the floor below
It was a boys' bathroom. Not girls'. That so annoys me whenever I see it in fic.

And Harry realized, with a shock so huge it seemed to root him to the spot, that Malfoy was crying — actually crying
How positively shocking! Malfoy has feelings! Wow.

What I always wonder about this scene is (and this is something sistermagpie pointed out yonks ago): how is it that Harry has time to bellow SECTUMSEMPRA in the time that it would have taken Draco to say o? At the time Harry is yelling "Sectumsempra", Draco's already past Cruci-. I mean, was JKR going for "lol evil Slytherin using Unforgivables"? In which case it's really poorly executed and unrealistic. Or is it because Draco is actually hesitating before finishing the incantation? In which case it's clearly a foreshadowing of his inability to cast the Killing Curse, later. Bellatrix told Harry that you've got to mean it, and Draco's probably pissed off enough to mean it, but does he cut himself off mid-spell because he doesn't want to cross that line, or is it a really badly botched case of timing on JKR's part?

We still don't know wtf Snape was doing so near the sixth-floor bathroom, do we? I mean, his office is still in the dungeon, as we find out later in the chapter, and the Dark Arts classroom is on the first floor. *eyes overcrowded convenient plot point corner*

After all that, I have to wonder, what would Snape have done if he found his old book? And is Harry going to get it back before he leaves? Probably not, now that he knows that it belonged to icky old Snape, but still -- JKR spent quite a bit of time letting us know where exactly he hid it, so I'm not sure if that was just a matter of wanting to describe yet another incarnation of the RoR or if it's going to be important later on.

Roonil Wazlib will never stop being funny. <3 I'm surprised and a little disappointed that Snape doesn't address Harry as Wazlib from that day forth, though. >.>

"Poor Gryffindor... fourth place this year, I fear..."
I love how even Snape assumes that without Harry, Gryffindor doesn't stand a chance. But clearly they do! Because they've got Ginny! :D *gag*

I'm really curious how Narcissa took the news about Draco's injury and who inflicted it.

Perhaps, if they won, Ginny and Dean would make up during the post-match euphoria
You know, if this had happened, it would have spared us a few brief mentions of Harry and Ginny's insta-relationship and... that's about it. Zero bearing on the book's plot. No, seriously. Ginny's only important role from this point forth is "being Harry's girlfriend in the background" Because you know she still would be there fighting the Death Eaters at the end even if she wasn't going out with Harry -- if not because she's ZOMG SUPER FANTASTIC AWESOME GINNY WHO SAVES THE DAY but at least because she was there, fighting, in OotP.

"By the sound of it, Malfoy was trying to use an Unforgivable Curse, you should be glad Harry had something good up his sleeve!"
Something good up Harry's sleeve, indeed -- because clearly it takes less time to scream "SECTUMSEMPRA" than it does to scream "STUPEFY". Next person to tell me Ginny's not got a malicious bone in her lithe, sexah body gets laughed at. Severely. And when challenged on calling Sectumsempra good by Hermione, she lashes out about Hermione not knowing about Quidditch and completely ignores the perfectly justified challenge. Classy.

Ron looked nervously at Harry, then snatched up a book at random and hid behind it.
Oh Ron. Never change. <3333333

the unpleasantly familiar office that Snape, despite teaching floors above now
Um, what? The Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom is on the first floor as per CoS; so how is Snape "floors above" it?

"James Potter and Sirius Black. Apprehended using an illegal hex upon Bertram Aubrey. Aubreys head twice normal size. Double detention."
Oh hey, sounds just like Harry using toenail-growing hexes on Crabbe and Goyle and everyone else he doesn't like. James would have been proud, clearly.

various petty misdeeds
Yeah, because when James and Sirius swell someone's head to twice its size, it's merely a petty misdeed. But when Draco makes Hermione's teeth grow bigger, it's vile and nasty and punishable by DEATH.

Ginny playing Seeker against Cho
*cue Harry's first lesbian fantasy*

He hesitated outside the crowded Great Hall
Why is the Great Hall crowded? Is it lunch time? Then why are the Gryffindors excused from it? I was under the impression meal times were standard and mandatory at Hogwarts.

lol, the "hard, blazing" look on Ginny's face always makes me think of Ginny with her hair on fire.

And without thinking, without planning it, without worrying about the fact that fifty people were watching, Harry kissed her.
Awwwww. Yeah, that's right, I said awww. I mean, I hate that it has to be Ginny and not some nice girl who isn't going to grow up to be Molly Weasley, but I love Harry and I'm happy he's happy. There's always divorce for when she turns into her mother. 'Cause she sure as hell isn't going to turn into your mother, baby boy; Lily Evans would've told you the same thing about Sectumsempra that Hermione had. And she'd've been right.

However! After twenty-four chapters, NO MORE CHEST MONSTER! :D *breaks out champagne*
Tags: criticism, fandom:hp, half-blood prince commentary, meta:canon
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