not your typical annihilatrix (furiosity) wrote,
not your typical annihilatrix
furiosity

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Chapters 1 - 12

Chapter 1 - The Dark Lord Ascending


Yaxley was a total wtf moment for me -- why is he suddenly important? He never ends up being significant to any part of the plot, so what was the point of him, exactly?

Oh, Draco. He's so afraid and miserable, it's heartbreaking.

Yaxley says that he succeeded in placing an Imperius Curse on Thicknesse (hee) and claims that this was done with great difficulty. Why exactly was it so difficult? All he has to do is get Pius alone in the toilets or something.

Hee, Snape said "eschewing". *giggle*

"That Potter lives is due more to my errors than to his triumphs." -- Voldiebuns
Well, thank you, Captain Obvious!

but beneath the table her slim fingers closed briefly on his wrist
Lucius/Narcissa. *_* But also, Narcissa is SO running the show in the Malfoy family now. Go Cissy! :D

AHAH, Voldiepumpkin comparing wand lengths with Lucius's wand. Too. Easy.

And then Voldiemuffin's eyes widen maliciously. Am I the only one unable to picture that? Like, how can you tell that the widening of eyes is *malicious* and not, say, happening because he's seen a pretty, pretty butterfly and decided to give up his evil ways. ADVERBS ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND, JKR.

Wow, the Malfoys really are in shit, aren't they. T_T

There are two things in this chapter that pretty much confirm for me that Lucius married money and is for all intents and purposes nouveau-riche. First, Yaxley remarks (at the beginning) that Lucius always did well for himself, and then Bella refers to the Manor as "our family's house". I don't think she means the Malfoy family; I think she means the Black family. This would be consistent with Lucius's appalling behaviour and his constant striving to assert his superiority over people who are beneath him in social standing. A true aristocrat would not behave in this way; an aristocrat simply takes it for granted that he is above you -- he does not need to strut about and show off to feel bigger. He knows he's better than you, and he's gracious in that knowledge. Lucius is always so belligerently "ZOMG MY BLOODLINEZ AND BLINGZ, LET ME SHOW YOU THEM" that I never believed he was from a well-to-do, aristocratic family. Total social climber, and Narcissa married him because she loves him. I am totally delighted that I can make this a part of my personal fanon now that JKR's done nothing to contradict it and everything to bolster it. \:D/

Ewwww, Bellatrix longing for closeness. D: Where the fuck is Rodolphus?

Voldywobbles thinks it's flattering that there's no higher pleasure for Bella than to host him? Is he being sarcastic or is JKR srsly going for Bella/Voldie? D:

How does Voldiekins know about the Lupin/Tonks wedding, by the way? grrliz suggested that he reads the Prophet's society pages. I'm inclined to agree, because the idea is so cracktastically fantastic.

All the fist-thumping and foot-stomping is making the Death Eaters seem like deranged zombies, and not in a scary way.

Hm, this is interesting. Bella says that neither she nor Narcissa have set eyes on Andromeda since she married Ted Tonks. But that implies that they were in contact with Andromeda whilst she was dating him, up until the marriage. I want Black sisters genfic where Bella and Cissy take turns trying to persuade Andromeda not to marry the Mudblood.

And Narcissa was SO writing to Andromeda; I'm sure of it. Man, I love being able to finally set down personal fanon -- I hesitated to, before the series was over, but now, yay! Though of course I shouldn't yay too much; that encyclopaedia JKR's putting out is sure to throw some spanners in the works.

I feel so bad for Narcissa and Draco. Especially Draco -- so terrified, poor baby. ;_; And Draco can't look at Charity any more once she's revived and her suffering is more visible. Oh, angel. I always knew you weren't a sadistic freak.

One thing that really bugged me about DH was that the wizarding world in general and the Death Eaters in particular never found out that Voldiepie was a half-blood, with a Muggle father, of all things. I admit I really wanted to see Lucius's face upon hearing such news. >.>

"Severus, please." -- Charity
I wonder if the ensuing Dumbledore flashback made it easier for Snape to turn away.

Draco fell out of his chair. I shouldn't laugh, and yet. LMFAO. >.>

Chapter 2 - In Memoriam


lol @ Harry's messy trunk. Such a boy.

Sirius's mirror. ;_; I had always wondered if it would ever be mentioned again. I still think it was stupid that Harry conveniently "forgot" about it in book 5 and thus needed to use Umbridge's fireplace to communicate. Yes, that is how things sometimes happen in real life, but fantasy fiction is not real life. Misdirection -- as with the Put-Outer/Deluminator, Riddle's diary and the Invisibility Cloak, all of which are important but are also more than they appear -- is fine. Introducing a magical gadget and not using it AT ALL until 2 books later is just sloppy plotting. I think she ought to have simply had the mirror end up with Dumbledore for some reason, so that Harry received it after Sirius's death and not before.

...and it's ironic that here I wrote "God, Rowling is even more verbose than I am." *overanalyses Harry Potter*

Whenever I read the bit about Harry looking in the broken mirror, I cringe inwardly and wish he hadn't. What? Looking in broken mirrors is bad luck! :S

Harry refers to Muggle clothing as Muggle clothing, which I think demonstrates how far away he's now from his Muggle roots.

Wait a minute; Harry is taking his potion-making kit but leaving the cauldron behind? Where's he going to brew potions -- tuna cans?

Albus/Elphias mutual attraction OTP.

Here's another thing that's never stopped bugging me and likely never will -- Dumbledore is referred to as having won all those "prizes" at Hogwarts. Tom Riddle got awards, too, and there are trophies to be polished for detention at Hogwarts. How come none of the current students we know have ever received prizes or trophies? Surely Hermione would've qualified for at least one or two?

Albus and Aberforth are 3 years apart.

Another thing from the "days of yore" -- this grand tour that wizards took upon completing Hogwarts. It was apparently all the rage back when Dumbledore was a student, at most 3 generations ago. I wonder what changed.

"a woman wearing jewelled glasses with elaborately curled, blonde hair"
If you can't spot the problem in this sentence, you shouldn't be JKR's editor, either.

Speaking of wizarding photographs, we know that portraits can recognise who's looking at them, but can photographs?

Aberforth's goat conviction happened when Harry was two, so after the war. Wow, do I want that story or what.

Harry and Dumbledore's unhealthy, sinister relationship. Hee. If you only knew, JKR. If you only knew. *eyes happiestwhen.

"poor Potter has few real friends"
How ironic is it that this is actually true?

Stop! Canon time! Harry actually gave evidence against Snape, according to the Daily Prophet. Needs ficced yesterday, k.

The clunky sentence structure is starting to annoy me greatly, and it will continue to annoy me for the next 8 or so chapters. JKR's editors suck.

"quilled" -- I love this detail. Of course they wouldn't use a verb like "penned", since wizards do not use pens!

"Lies!"
Oh, Harry. ;_;

Dumbledore's eyes would never pierce him again. AHHAHAHAHA. *is twelve*

Chapter 3 - The Dursleys Departing


Why are the Dursleys wearing coats and jackets in midsummer? It's not that cold in London suburbia, is it?

"Dudley, Harry's large, blond, muscular cousin"
Wipe the drool off your chin, Harry; you're embarrassing yourself.

Dudley's dumb-bells! <3

Oh, how I love Harry sassing Vernon. Waited so long for this! *_*

Lord Thing, ahaha. That always amuses me for some reason.

That whole paragraph about Kingsley and Arthur is so completely unnecessary. I mean, yeah, okay, blah blah backstory, but it seriously trips up the pacing.

I love rebel!Harry being all "lol establishment" at his uncle Vernon. <3

Kingsley is hot. Harry agrees.

I love Dedalus's pocket watch yelling at them to hurry up.

Oh, Dudley. "I don't think you're a waste of space." And the cold tea! Oh. ;____;

"The hopes of the wizarding world rest upon your shoulders!"
"Oh, right. Thanks."

AHAHA. *dies* Poor Harry.

Dudley's gentle with his mother. Aww. <3

And you know, considering that I can't stand books 1-3!Dudley to this day, all these "awww"s feel weird.

TAKE CARE, BIG D. T_T Wah. I totally teared up.

Chapter 4 - The Seven Potters


Harry's sarcasm to Hedwig about the wonderful memories of 4 Privet Drive is so heartbreaking. Poor boy.

Sirius's motorbike as a getaway vehicle! I love this, because it means Harry arrived and left his aunt and uncle's house in exactly the same way -- on the motorbike, with Hagrid.

Hermione with a plait!!!

But I do not understand the necessity to describe everyone's physical appearance for a full paragraph.

Tonks is showing off her ring! I wonder who paid for it? Maybe Lupin sold his shabby robes on eBay, since for once they weren't mentioned.

"stuck as speccy, scrawny gits forever"
<333 GRED AND FORGE. :D

AAHAHA Harryjuice is clean, bright gold. *insert inappropriate watersports joke here*

OMG LMAO TASTIER THAN GOYLE. :D

And on page 48, we have "Altogether" instead of "All together". EDITOR. FIRED.

Ahahah, "We're identical!"

And Fleur thinks Harry is hideous, lol lol lol. Poor Harry's self-esteem.

"I knew Ginny was lying about that tattoo."
Oh, JKR, please stop being so obvious. Why would Ron need Ginny to know what Harry's bare chest looks like? They've shared a dormitory at Hogwarts for six years, and Harry has changed clothes in front of Ron multiple times. These feeble attempts to insert Ginny into completely unrelated scenes are cute in their desperation. Cute, but dumb.

yanking your wand
AHAHAHAH OH NO SHE DIDN'T. OH YES SHE DID. OH NO SHE DIDN'T. OH YES, SHE DID! <333

Fleur's "soppy, slavish" look at Bill on page 50 is total groundwork for future Bill/Harry. Bill has these dreams, see. He can never quite forget the look on Harry's face... >:)

Hermione and Kingsley on a Thestral! Does that mean they are meant to be, or does that require a Hippogriff and Sirius?

I has another question. How did Moody know what Harry's luggage was going to be?

Ooh, Harry doesn't like sitting below everyone. That's my boy. <3

Um, they gave the bike magic-juiced nitro but they couldn't expand the sidecar like they do with Muggle cars? Does not compute.

Dedwig. Somehow I feel no sympathy, because she was so bitchy to Harry for the ENTIRETY OF HER CAMEO. D:

Wait, what's that? :O ARE THOSE... Death Eaters pausing to help a fallen comrade?
PAGE 53, TOTALLY TRUE!

The dragonfire is white-hot and blue and at the same time it's white-blue. You tell me. o.O

Flying Voldie is SERIOUSLY BADASS, yo. I only have one question: why was this awesomely relentless villain cooling his heels for two books straight? I mean, I'm sorry, but this dude's seriously powerful. He could have killed Harry ages ago -- fuck, a little Polyjuice, infiltrate Hogwarts, and quietly slit Harry's throat in his sleep. Course, we wouldn't have seven books then, but that's hardly a reason for inconsistent characterisation. Voldybuttons was downright comical for the past two books, that's how ineffectual and Evil Overlord-y he was, and NOW he's suddenly badass? Please.

Accio Hagrid.
OH MY GOD. Way to completely unravel all the dramatic tension you've built up. I realise that JKR wasn't going for comic relief with this (and if she was, somebody needs to have a talk with her about story structure, stat) but AHAHAH I was unable to take any of the rest of this seriously because I kept going "lol, Accio Hagrid *snort*" The sad thing is that obviously here poor Harry is so desperate he'll try anything, but I can't fully appreciate the moment's poignancy since I'm laughing too hard.

Chapter 5 - Fallen Warrior


JOB APPLICATION: JKR'S EDITOR. QUESTION 1: What's the problem with this sentence? Show your work.

"the great, dark mass on the ground that was Hagrid"

Oh, man, I totally thought Hagrid was a goner for a minute thar, and I totally was bracing myself for the newest bout of Harry!Angst. ;_;

Ted Tonks refers to Andromeda as "the wife"? Does he wear a wife-beater, too?

I wonder why Tonks doesn't like "Dora". I can see why she'd loathe Nymphadora, but what's wrong with Dora?

I love how Ted talks sneerfully about Arthur's Muggle contraptions as if he himself isn't a Muggle-born. FFS. I really disliked this guy on sight, you know that? He gives me creepy redneck trailer trash vibes.

Aspidistra. JKR: 1; f: 0

...Dromeda? She couldn't have thought up a nickname that doesn't bring camels to mind? Or is this meant to make me hate Ted even more?

Aaaand we have wet, shockingly scarlet blood. Ladies and gentlemen, the Pulitzer Prize for Most Original Literary Description goes to...

Poor George and his ear. ;_; I wonder if anyone's made "Snape killed George's ear; PAGE 65 TOTALLY TRUE!" icons yet. Or is it too early in spoiler season?

Polyjuice is for human use only -- does that mean Lupin cannot use Polyjuice? What about Fleur -- she's at least one quarter Veela (her grandmother was a Veela; I'm assuming she had four grandparents); how come she's able to Polyjuice?

Harry's outrage at Lupin's suggestion to at least stun first makes Harry's later casual Cruciatus so much worse.

And after that little smug lecture, I hate Lupin just a little more. I'm sorry, the man's a dickhead. End of story. He was totally there for Harry in PoA, then he fucked off and grew increasingly more spastic as time wore on. HE RUINED HARRY'S FIRST EVER BIRTHDAY PARTY IN HBP WITH HIS NEWS OF DOOM AND GLOOM. I hate Lupin hardcore. He's a passive-aggressive douchemuffin. So there.

So... the Death Eaters even broke Stan out of prison, even though he's merely Imperiused? Holy.

It's really ironic that Lupin's known about Snape's specialty curse all this time.

Aww, poor Hagrid constantly getting stuck in the door.

Go Arthur! Telling Kingsley off like that. Kingsley will be sure to spank you later.

Ahahah, saintlike holey George. Geddit? Why aren't Ron and Bill huddled round my sickbed? *rolls around* The twins are in top form in this book. <3333 I like them a lot better now that they're out of Hogwarts and not playing cruel pranks on people just for the fuck of it.

Always the tone of surprise --Ron
Awww, Ron. <3333 I LOVE RON SO MUCH.

Wow, Lupin and Tonks, poster couple... or maybe not. Was JKR on roofies when she wrote this shit?

Wait, Auntie Muriel was fussing over Ron and Tonks? The same disagreeable hag who shows up at the wedding? Whut?

Moody. :( Poor Tonks. ;_;

Does everyone in Britain cry into handkerchiefs, or is this a JKRism? Because dude, HANDKERCHIEFS IN EVERY SENTENCE. LEAVE NO SNOTTY NOSE BEHIND.

Also, why is Harry suddenly noticing that Fleur is beautiful? JKR's read the slashers loling at how he's got a complete hard-on for Riddle and decided to counterattack, Y/N?

Wait, the Thestrals are grazing? On what? George's blood? Or are they attracted by the smell of blood by magical coincidence whilst being herbivores? (the Luna-feeds-baby-Thestral-a-raw-steak scene is totally movieverse, but I thought it followed that attracted to blood = carnivore). Then again, this is a magical creature created by JKR, She Who Cannot Construct a Coherent Magic System and Has to Fall Back on Props and Newly Invented Wandlore to Finish a Series.

I think it's also uber-convenient that Voldiepanda's suddenly stopped shielding the connection between his mind and Harry's scar. It did nothing all through HBP, even though we know that the link could reach Harry at Hogwarts (it did in OotP). Now it's back in full swing again and it's never explained why. Inconsistent.

Chapter 6 - The Ghoul in Pyjamas


I think I might have missed something crucial, but I do not understand the level of angst over Mad-Eye's death. I can get Tonks and the other Order members who worked with him, but ffs, Harry barely knew him and he angsts over Mad-Eye more than he did over Sirius. WTF?

Oh look, and now we have POV errors as Harry looks mutinous. To himself.

Ahaha, Molly's eyes are the same as Ginny's. Yes, and Molly's eyes aren't the only thing Ginny's inherited. She's also got her mother's personality. Poor Harry.

Okay, if Dumbledore's last words to Lupin and Kingsley were to trust Harry, and Dumbledore was head of the Order at the time, shouldn't Molly GTFO and listen? God, the woman is irritating. I just really hate mother hen types who think they know what's best for everyone. Blargh.

Incidentally, one male member of the Weasley family supports Puddlemere United. It's not Ron, it's not Percy, it's not Fred or George (as those two ostensibly are still living above the shop in Diagon Alley... unless they bring their laundry home to Mummy), which leaves Bill and Mr Weasley. My point is that I SMELL OLIVER WOOD SLASH. Or maybe it's Ginny's sock. omg Ginny is Msscribe!

The Secret Keeper thing is retarded. She said on her website that when a Secret Keeper dies, those who know about the secret still know it, but they're unable to communicate it to anyone. Now she's saying that they have all become Secret Keepers. Which is NOT the same thing as "knowing and being unable to say". And since we're talking about JKR and her amazing inability to construct an actual magic system, the Secret Keeper for Godric's Hollow is still alive and well, and I don't remember Peter Pettigrew whispering the location into Harry's ear at any point in the books. Nor could he have informed the entire wizarding population (i.e. those who paid their respects at GH), so what gives? I mean, I'm sure she'll eventually handwave it as "once you betray a Fidelius-protected secret, the magic stops working!1" but that's just stupid and super-convenient.

There are only around 20 members of the Order of the Phoenix?
Molly, Kingsley, Remus, Diggle, Arthur, Bill, Tonks, Hestia, Elphias Doge, Aberforth, Figgy, Dung, Hagrid, McG, Sturgis Podmore (I'm assuming he's out of Azkaban by now after the Ministry infiltration in OotP), Charlie. Maybe Fred and George by now, too. That's 18. Eighteen people, one of them a Squib and another a giant with a snapped wand, are the wizarding world's last defence? Riiiiight.

More Secret Keeper stupidity. If the Burrow is Headquarters now because of the "diluted" Fidelius Charm, does that imply that the Burrow is under the Fidelius Charm? Because, um, you would think that a "diluted" Fidelius is better than NO FIDELIUS AT ALL. The Death Eaters storm the damn Burrow within two chapters, so what the fuck made it so secure, again? Nothing, that's what. Poor planning on JKR's part and a bad explanation for the unsuitability of Grimmauld Place. The irony is that the Death Eaters were never able to get into Grimmauld Place quite this easily; the only thing that led them there eventually was the trio's bad luck. I'm just staring in horror at these apparently bright individuals and wondering why they're all so DUMB.

Aw bless, at dinner, Harry finds himself crammed beside Ginny. Finds himself; as if we don't know who runs the Weasley household and seating arrangements. Good old Molly isn't wasting any time, is she?

Oh, OotP!Harry; how I've missed you. You and your Umbridge scars. <3

"So why in the name of Merlin's saggy left--"
Oh, Ron. <3333 I know a lot of people were annoyed by all the Merlining in the book, but I think it's a neat way to indicate that the trio are adults now and they're allowed to swear in front of other adults? Merlin seemed to be exclusive to the adults before this book, at any rate. I thought they were funny. >.>

Arthur is all whee! about the motorbike, but why? It's not like he hasn't seen it before; it was him who fitted it with the dragon fire nitro and the exhaust pipe surprises...

I... Harry makes a really morbid joke (which, btw, made me o.O, considering his earlier OMG ANGST!1 over Moody, his death "like a presence") and Hermione loses it completely. HERMIONE? This girl has always been tough as fucking nails; why would she lose it at a morbid joke? This whole thing feels like it was written just so Ron could demonstrate his newly acquired ladies skillz. It's adorable because I love Ron/Hermione but JKR, that is not how you write romance into a story. X_x The R/Hr moment is cute, but it doesn't fit here.

Also, why was Ron using a handkerchief to clean the oven? Did he miss the memo where he's an adult wizard?

OMG TRIO LOVE. SO MUCH TRIO LOVE. "We're coming with you. That was decided months ago -- years, really.
LOVE

Hermione's parents! ;_; She's told them a lot about Harry! T_T And she says she modified their memories, only to claim a few chapters later that she's never used a memory charm. Buh?

I love that we finally meet the ghoul! And spattergroit! Clearly, Ron was paying attention during the St. Mungo's scene in OotP when that portrait proclaimed Ron's freckles a symptom of spattergroit. <3

I also think it's so adorable that Ron made friends with the ghoul. Awwww. <3 Just, fandom, please. No ghoulporn. -_-

"Harry merely looked his confusion."
I... what? WHAT? ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER. DO YOU SPEAK IT???
I actually re-read that sentence like five times to make sure that my eyes weren't cheated by some spell and that it was, in fact, a completely nonsensical sentence in the most anticipated book of the decade.

But then I forgot all about it when Ron said "once the fungus has spread to your uvula." AHAHAHAHAHAH. >.> *is twelve*

Okay, so my Ginny-is-a-Horcrux theory totally got jossed even before the Horcrux hunt really started: it was not possible for the bit of Voldie's soul to hover above the destroyed diary for a while and then find a new hiding place, because the "soul can't live without the body". This is giving me serious flashbacks to my old fandom, but I don't think JKR's spent any time thinking profound philosophical thoughts on the nature of reality, so I'll just concede that Ginny can't possibly be a Horcrux (boo!) and move on.

I really feel for Harry here, so conscious of the weight of missed opportunities with Dumbledore. Unfortunately, Dumbledore wouldn't have given Harry any answers had he asked the questions, and poor Harry doesn't know that yet.

And we have a voice "tailing" away. WTF is it with JKR's editors, man?

Wow, Molly Weasley is *psycho*. Her face is contorted with rage because she thinks three teenagers are shirking their duties? WHAT THE FUCK. Oh, by the way, Harry, dear? Meet your future wife. *snort*

After observing the wedding preparations, I can only conclude that the Weasleys aren't poor any more, most likely thanks to Fred and George. Good for them. I always felt so sorry for poor Ron. :(

Aw, Arthur has a crush on Apolline Delacour. THAT IS SO CUTE. <3

AHAHAHA Ginny clears her throat after Gabrielle bats her eyelashes at Harry. Irony at its fucking finest, right there. At least Gabrielle isn't a wimp like Ginny was at eleven. Had Ginny started out with batting her eyelashes at Harry, I'd be shipping them hardcore because omg, cute and gutsy from DAY ONE, and Harry would have been adorably embarrassed by it. You fail, JKR. You fail so hard at writing a believable love interest for Harry. I'm actually upset that I can't like Ginny -- I went back through the previous books and tried to read her scenes in a different light, but nope, she's a total fucking shrinking violet before book 5, then she's sort of cool during book 5, then she's suddenly ZOMG AMAZINGLY POPULAR AND HARRY TOTALLY WANTS TO SCREW HER in book 6. No. Harry/Luna forever, man. Luna saw through his Polyjuice.

Aww, Gabrielle following Fleur around. <3333333

Charlie is Bill's best man? Is Ron the only Weasley with close friends outside the family? Or is it traditional for the older brother to be the best man in Britland?

Why does Molly need to hang up the wash? Hermione was using a sell to siphon away water before she was of age. I hate that JKR's magic system sucks monkey balls. Actually, I think this is my single biggest complaint about the series as a whole -- an inconsistent and used-when-convenient magic system. It's severely imaginative and amazing in execution, but it seems completely chaotic -- which is okay since the wizarding world itself is chaotic and wizards lack logic, but she abuses the chaoticness by using magical cop-out scenarios too often, and doesn't make the magic backfire really badly often enough.

Chapter 7 - The Will of Albus Dumbledore


the man he needed so badly he could think of little else
Oh, Harry. You're so gay. Well, it's actually Voldemort's mind, but Harry's still gay.

"No," said Harry. "I'm definitely not thinking of Gorgovitch."

"I try not to either," said Ron.

AHAHAHA. Ron and his unfortunate love for the Cannons. <3

"I'd do your flies by hand, though," Ron advised Harry, sniggering when Harry immediately checked it.
lol. But see also: JKR crowbarring Ginny into a scene where she had no real business being, in chapter 4. Ron's seen Harry in various states of undress for himself, thanks!

Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches.
Oh, Ron. <3333 On the other hand, I cannot believe that some batshit insane people point to this book as evidence that Ron is a date rapist. What the fuck?

You'd be surprised, it's not all about wandwork, either.
AHAHAHAHAHA UNINTENTIONAL I BET, BUT SO FUNNY.

Aww, Harry's all growed up and gets a razor for his seventeenth birthday. I know it's been done to death in fic, but it still makes me squee.

"I'm nearly done, I'm just waiting for the rest of your underpants to come out of the wash, Ron--"
AHAHAHAHA OH GOD POOR RON!!! :D <3333

Okay, the Kiss Like None Other -- I'm not sure who first said that Ginny's present to Harry was going to be her virginity, but while it's a funny thought (and not unheard of with teenagers), I don't think that's what it was. I mean, the door was open, and the house was full of parental units; Ginny isn't stupid. I really don't want to think that JKR meant to portray Ginny as desperate, here, because wow, way to make your self-insert look like a total whore. I think the kiss was meant to be Harry's birthday present. Either way, kiss or virginity, this makes Ginny look like a smug bitch, not to mention that the whole thing sends poor Harry into a tailspin for the next few chapters, worrying about Ginny instead of thinking about how to defeat Voldemort. It's the single most selfish thing she could have done -- I have nothing against "something to remember me by" per se, but couldn't she have got him, IDK, a piece of jewellery or a photograph of the two of them together? It would have been sweet, and maybe it could even have played a role later, when Harry's struggling against the locket Horcrux's effect on him, you know? JKR fails so hard at romance.

[Harry] found it difficult to look back at her; it was like gazing into a brilliant light.
AHAHAHAHA OMG LOL. See also: fails hard at romance.

She was not tearful; that was one of the many wonderful things about Ginny, she was rarely weepy.
It's really too bad that we never get to actually find out any of the other wonderful things about Ginny, because pretty much everything she does around Harry, particularly in this book, makes her look like Alicia Silverstone in The Crush.

"You ditched her. What are you doing now, messing her around?"
Um, Ron? It was your psycho sister who tried to jump Harry's bones, not the other way around. Just saying. I really like that Ron defends his sister, but everyone in that conversation is missing a key point: there is nothing to defend Ron's sister against. She's the one who's messing Harry around, but JKR seems to have already forgotten this inconvenient little truth.

I love Ron complimenting Hermione on her decorating skills. I know he read it in his book, but it's so adorable.

he caught Ginny's eye and grinned at her before remembering his promise to Ron
Oh, so now that they've kissed, they can't even be friendly anymore? It's snogging or bust? Fail, JKR. Super fail. You know, despite the enormous amounts of hate that HBP!Ginny instilled in me, I was hoping to see her character developed more in this book, perhaps have her as a messenger between Harry and the Order, or something, or hell, even go along on the Horcrux hunt (not by insisting on it or by Harry wanting her to, but, IDK, by accident or something). But no. For the past 3 books, there's been more chemistry between Harry and Luna than Harry and Ginny. So if I must ship a het pairing, I will ship Harry/Luna for life.

Ron gave Harry the thumbs-up and mouthed, Good one.
Wait, Ron approves of Harry/Molly, too? x_x

"Mokeskin. Hide anythin' in there an' no one but the owner can get it out. They're rare, them."
HAGRID IS USEFUL!!! :D

I love that Norbert is actually Norberta. :D But Hermione's question as to how they know made me facepalm, as did Charlie's answer. Leave it to JKR to make male dragons lack cocks.

"Are you planning to follow a career in Magical Law, Miss Granger?" asked Scrimgeour.

"No, I'm not," retorted Hermione. "I'm hoping to do some good in the world!"

This tidbit is kind of interesting, because I think it's a clear canon indication that wizards do have lawyers, and just like in the Muggle world, everyone hates them. :D

I'm randomly annoyed that the Put-Outer is now the Deluminator. But it's cool to see it again, anyway.

Why is Hermione weeping again? She was never close to Dumbledore, either. And lol at the changed middle name. She's been Hermione Jane Granger all these years, and suddenly she's Jean. Magic!

I love the idea of a Snitch having flesh memory. Though I don't see how this is useful in case of a disputed capture; does this mean that each Quidditch game uses a brand new Snitch? Was this what JKR was hinting at when she showed James Potter playing with a nicked Snitch in Snape's worst memory? There must be thousands of discarded Snitches sitting in a warehouse somewhere. O_O

Huh, Scrimgeour knows that Voldemort was the Heir of Slytherin. If he knows that, he must know about Tom Riddle. Why has the information about Voldemort's true parentage not been publicised? The Ministry does, after all, have the Daily Prophet at its disposal.

"It's time you earned it." said Harry.
Oh, Harry. Oh. <333333333

Harry and his raised fist, displaying the I must not tell lies scar. Does anyone else get a vision of revolutionary!Harry raising that fist like a battle cry? No? Just me? Okay. >.>

Everyone's pitching tents all over the place in this story. Hagrid, the Trio... no wonder we all want to write about little gay wizards.

"I always said he was mental." - Ron's opinion on Dumbledore.
I love that Ron is unrelenting in this throughout the books. <33

Ahaha, Harry makes out with a Snitch.

And Ron thinks Cinderella is a disease. <3 <3 <3 Has anyone written Babbitty Rabbitty and her Cackling Stump yet?

Chapter 8 - The Wedding


Okay, allow me to be smug for a moment, but imadra_blue and I totally called Weasley camouflage in Abide the Sleeper. Except in our fic, it was Draco who disguised himself thus, in order to flee to Maui rather than stay and mingle.

The waiters wear white robes! And the band has golden jackets! And they sit around smoking pipes! I love these little wizarding world details. <3333

Oh, Fred. "When I get married..." ;_;

How much love do I have for Luna seeing through Harry's Polyjuice? OTP!!! A sunflower in her hair! *_*

Luna and her father are so adorable. Eccentric, sure. But so adorable. :D

Ahahaha, Auntie Muriel is great. Makes fun of everybody and everything! And she's -- wow, she's Molly's aunt, isn't she? Seems like female bitchery runs in the Prewett family. Only Auntie Muriel manages to be amusing, whilst Molly just sounds psychotic and Ginny is getting there.

Aww, Ron/Hermione. "Always the tone of surprise."

OMG VIKTOR!!! Be still, my heart. :D And according to Ron, he's grown a "stupid little beard". <33333

The girls are all wearing dresses, whereas Mrs Weasley is wearing dress robes, and so are all the wizards. Does this mean that at wizarding weddings, unmarried women are expected to wear Muggle dress? No, wait, Luna is in robes. CONSISTENCY, JKR. Too much to ask for? :|

"...then I declare you bonded for life"
For life. Take that, divorce-writing fanauthors!!! Oh wait, we can just invent a spell that breaks the bond. Oh never mind, we already did. >:)

Aw, Luna sitting all by herself and then dancing all by herself. And what does Ron mean by "always good value"? o.o Is this a British thing? O.O

Ron and Hermione dancing!! :D

I love how Viktor is all "I would duel him here and now". Viktor is hot. He may be ugly, but he's hot. XD Drawing his wand and tapping it on his thigh, oh my! "I had not realised I ever discussed my vand with fans. klasdfjsjkl;adfkasdfajklsdfaksjl;f!!!! "Vot is the point of being an international Quidditch player if all the good-looking girls are taken?" Oh, Viktor. I have a very good solution for you. *gropes about in ether, consults crystal ball* I predict a steep increase in Viktor!slash. *writes fic*

Ginny/Lee Jordan! Fred/George/Veela cousins!

I love how Polyjuice no longer seems to run out after an hour. WTF?

Oh, I love Harry so much for refusing to choose to believe something, for wanting the truth, no matter how sordid. That's one of the things that's a mark of a true Gryffindor, I think.

Kendra Dumbledore was a Muggle-born, which means that Albus Dumbledore was a half-blood. No wonder the Death Eaters never respected him; I've always wondered if there was a deeper reason than just being on opposite ends of the ideological stick.

I totally agree with Harry that it had been shitty of Dumbledore never to have mentioned that they were from the same village. Well, Dumbledore wasn't born there, but still. It's almost as though he kept it from Harry to avoid his asking questions about Dumbledore's past, to avoid Harry's finding out about Grindelwald -- but the friendship with Grindelwald was very secret at the time; why would Dumbledore even have worried? Really disappointed in old Dumbledore, I am. :\

Kingsley's Patronus is a lynx!! zomg.

Chapter 9 - A Place to Hide


Tottenham Court Road! I wonder if she chose it because she knew about Sectus. It would be insanely cool, if she had.

I love Hermione's Bag of Holding. Yes, I know, it's been done to death in fan fiction, but it's awesome now that it's canon. And an Undetectable charm, too! Neat.

Oh, now the Polyjuice wears off. Whatever happened to "an hour"? Does she mean to tell us that all the various guests were assembled, Bill and Fleur were married, and Hermione had a chance to dance until her feet hurt whilst Auntie Muriel took us on that lengthy trip to the department of backstory, all WITHIN AN HOUR? Riiiight.

Loved the cafe battle with the Death Eaters; nicely done and well-played.

So, Hermione's never done a Memory Charm? How'd she modify her parents' memories, then?

Ahaha, go Hermione for muttering where Ron can stick his wand. :D

Eep! For a second there I thought Moody was alive and hiding in Grimmauld Place! Asdfklasdfljksdf fake zombie Dumbledore! Skeery.

Okay, Hermione's weeping, her shaky hands, and all this general girly-girl fearfulness are seriously starting to annoy me. This is the girl who faced Fluffy the three-headed dog at eleven. WTF. And then she's shrieking and is too afraid to sleep alone. Or is she doing this on purpose to encourage Ron's manly urges to protect her? Either way, it stinks. It's like JKR's read every piece of meta on how Hermione is ruthless, and decided to amp up the girlishness. I preferred in-control!Hermione.

"Draco, give Rowle another taste of our displeasure ... do it, or feel my wrath yourself!"
My inner H/D shipper is rejoicing in the how deliciously sick this is, since Harry feels like he is saying those words. My inner Draco fan is squeeing because it's obvious from the pause and the "do it" that Draco is reluctant to torture Rowle. He doesn't want to torture. That's my boy. *beams*

And then Draco's "gaunt, petrified" face is branded on the inside of Harry's eyelids. OMG OTP. :">

Chapter 10 - Kreacher's Tale


Aww, poor Harry is lonely. ;_;

That's a very powerful insight from Harry here -- that Dudley was content to watch neglect and abuse as long as it didn't affect him. It's really a huge thing that at seventeen, Harry is able to reasonably think about himself as a victim of child abuse. And I can't believe that we just saw Dumbledore compared to Dudley Dursley.

It's also remarkably insightful of Harry to think of himself as a tool that Dumbledore honed and polished. Hey, usually he makes these realisations towards the end of a book, so this was refreshing. :P

Sirius's room is awesome. Gryffindor banners, motorcycles, and bikini-clad Muggle girls! :D And he actually read the manual for his motorcycle!

And now, Lily's letter. She sounds like such a pleasant, lovely young woman. And she addresses Sirius as Padfoot! The thought of baby!Harry on a toy broomstick made me all teary. ;_; And the Potters had a cat! And Petunia even sent her sister Christmas gifts, horrible though they were. And she calls Peter Wormy. :(

Okay, I'm like totally bawling at Harry standing there with his mother's letter, unable to take his eyes off it. Wah! ;_;

Plot bunny: the Potters' cat ran away when they died, turned feral, and is still terrorising the village's chickens and rabbits.

Huh. When you rip up a wizarding photograph, the rest of it still behaves normally.

Ho-hum. *breezes through the R.A.B. discovery* Thank you, for that, Captain Obvious!

"What's up? If it's massive spiders again, I want breakfast before I--"
Awww, RON. *clutches* <333

You know what I just noticed? Nonverbal spells seem to have gone mostly the way of Gilderoy Lockhart. They still use them, but most of the spells are spoken out loud. Even Hermione, who had mastered nonverbal magic long before Ron and Harry in HBP, is usually vocalising her spells. I wonder if this is a magical power thing or just a convenience thing? HBP seemed to create the impression that nonverbal magic was standard practise, but this is not what we see in canon.

Regulus was a Seeker! <3

...was that where James had nicked his Snape's-worst-memory Snitch from? Had he and Sirius overpowered Regulus and taken it away? T_T

And, of course, Regulus the Slytherin was much less handsome than Sirius the Gryffindor. *FACEPALM*

*breezes through the "omg the locket was here in OotP!1" discovery. Thank you again, Captain Obvious!

Okay, I know that the Kreacher pity moment doesn't come until later in the chapter, but I was already totally wailing by the time he said "Miss Bella" and "Miss Cissy". It's a miserable existence, living in the past. It had never struck me until this moment just how miserable Kreacher must have been, all alone through the years, with nothing but old trinkets to keep him company. T_T

I think everybody and their dog called Mundungus stealing the locket.

"Master Sirius ran away, good riddance, for he was a bad boy and broke my Mistress’s heart with his lawless ways."
It's interesting that everyone always assumes that Mrs Black's portrait is how Sirius's mother was in reality, but I could so see her turning into a total basket case after her son broke her heart. I mean, from my own point of view, unwilingness to stick to family tradition is not a good reason to be heart-broken over, but I'm not Mrs. Black.

Okay, the house-elf explanation for the potion kind of works, but it still doesn't explain the inconsistent "magical power" measurements that are apparently possible with JKR's magic. Is she trying to tell us that an underage wizard is equivalent to a house-elf in magical ability? House-elf magic is extremely potent; we've seen this over and over again, so what the fuck?

And house-elves can Apparate and Disapparate in and out of Hogwarts, not just within Hogwarts. So, in light of this new canon fact, I has a new question. WHY DIDN'T SOMEBODY SUGGEST THAT VOLDEMORT SIMPLY SEND A HOUSE-ELF TO CAPTURE HARRY? The way Kreacher captures Mundungus later on, that is. I mean, it would have been dead simple: send the elf into the school, the elf Side-Along-Apparates Harry to Voldemort's lair of ultimate evil. Bang bang, Avada Kedavra. -_- I realise that Hermione goes on to say that Voldemort considered house-elf magic beneath him, but duh, he knew that Kreacher had gone to Narcissa and told her where Sirius was hiding. As OCD as Voldemort was, shouldn't he have raised an eyebrow at the fact that the elf he'd left to die in the Inferi cave is alive and well in Grimmauld Place? Yes, it can be fanwanked with "well, Voldemort probably assumed it was a different elf that came to see Narcissa" but with Voldemort's constant paranoia? I don't buy it.

I do wonder what made Regulus change his mind about the Death Eaters and Voldemort. It couldn't have been the existence of the Horcrux, could it? The Death Eaters don't seem to have any compunction about killing (and thus splitting their souls apart), but I might be missing something. The other thing I want to know is how did Sirius find out that Regulus had got cold feet? He told Harry that Voldemort and co. had murdered Regulus, but we know that Voldemort had no idea anyone's been in his cave since he'd put the Horcrux there. So how did he know Regulus was dead? How did any of the Death Eaters know Regulus was dead? Did one of them take credit for Regulus's death, even without a dead body? Kreacher hadn't told anyone, so what gives? Does not compute.

Aww, Regulus didn't make Kreacher drink the Voldyjuice! That just breaks my heart. I'm sure he didn't just do it out of kindness for the house-elf, but still.

And poor Kreacher spent all that time trying to follow his master's orders and punishing himself for it. ;_; Kreacher had been alone for such a long time when Sirius came to live here, and he was probably starving for a bit of affection. Oh, poor thing. ;_;

Why is Hermione so sure that Narcissa and Bellatrix were perfectly lovely to Kreacher when he turned up? Wasn't Dobby's party line that Malfoys were horrible, evil people? If house-elves are loyal to those who are kind to them, why wasn't Dobby loyal to at least Narcissa? Or did she only treat other people's house-elves with kindness? Does not. Compute.

Awww, Kreacher and his locket. ;_; I'm glad Harry was able to find Kreacher a present that wasn't clothes.

Chapter 11 - The Bribe


It's not possible to conjure food out of thin air. I've always wanted to know for sure. \:D/ That makes the necessity to work and make money in the wizarding world actually important.

Ron's Deluminator habit is so Ron. <333

Harry just happens to be walking downstairs to the kitchen when Lupin gets into the house. Thus begins a series of rather fortunate coincidences without which the plot of this book couldn't actually happen. It all works for me, but I think it cheapens the impact the story might have had.

Ahaha, Lupin actually says "Hold your fire". <33333

So if Tonks is still "usually known as Tonks" does that mean that Teddy's mother is called "Tonks Lupin"? Or did she keep her maiden name? And why does Lupin sound like he's got fifteen hundred broomsticks crammed up his arse?

It's interesting that he still calls Snape "Severus". McGonagall switched to Snape as soon as he was exposed as Dumbledore's killer. *nods at the Snape/Lupin shippers*

Now we also know that tracking Apparition is impossible. \:D/

Scrimgeour didn't give Harry up. T_T And then Harry goes and spoils it by assuming that Scrimgeour's final act had been to "protect Harry". No, you stupid boy, not everything is about you! Scrimgeour knew you were the Chosen One, and he was thinking of the wizarding world. :| That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Aww, Ron all protective of Hermione. He says he'll teach her his family tree -- does this mean Ron actually knows his own family tree? I thought only pure-blood fanatics cared about family trees.

Awesome detail: Hogwarts attendance was never compulsory (before the new Ministry edicts, that is). So it's quite possible that Merope never went to Hogwarts.

At this moment, excited eleven-year-olds would be poring over stacks of newly purchased spell-books, unaware that they would never see Hogwarts, perhaps never see their families again either.
Holy shit, that could be one powerfully disturbing fic. About the Muggle-born little ones who came to Platform Nine and Three Quarters that September.

Lupin is an asshat, end of story. I don't care about elaborate excuses. He was going to leave his pregnant wife alone with no real hope for a future. NOTHING excuses that. Not even that he changed his mind and was all squeeful about Teddy later. I don't give a shit that he thinks he's doing Tonks a favour. Good intentions don't rate shit in my books. If you're doing something arsey because you believe it to be for the greater good, you are still doing something arsey.

"Well," said Harry slowly, "I'm not. I'm pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren't sticking with your own kid, actually."
Atta boy, Harry! And this is the reason I will never be able to read fics where Harry abandons his kids completely to go and live with Draco, Neville, Ron, Hermione, Luna, etc. That, and "Parents shouldn't leave their kids unless – unless they’ve got to." I somehow don't see Harry ever changing his mind about that. Sure, he might divorce Ginny, but he'd not become less involved in his kids' lives.

Tonks's family is disgusted by her marriage. That's pretty interesting, and adds a new dimension to the irrational hate I feel for Ted Tonks. Because somehow I just know this is his doing. Shut up.

On the other hand, even though I think Lupin is a twatstick, I don't feel that Harry had a place to call him a coward. Yes, Lupin is a coward, but he's an adult who's been through hell, and I disapprove of Harry's failure to at least respect his experience, which is vastly superior to Harry's. I think Lupin is right to hex Harry here.

Harry thought of photos of Native Americans he'd seen as he studied her dark eyes, high cheekbones, and straight nose, formally composed
above a high-necked silk gown.

I just have a question. Where exactly would Harry have ever seen photographs of Native Americans? It just seems like such a pastede on detail in aiding description -- I mean, why couldn't she just say that she had the high cheekbones of a Native American? Much smoother and much less WTF-ish, even though I still would've wondered where he saw these hypothetical photographs. My pet tinhat theory is that this is a subtle nod to resonant8's Transfigurations. Because after that rescue and that epilogue, I am all but convinced that JKR is so a closet H/D shipper. *sticks fingers in ears*

Like Mould-on-the-Wold, Godric's Hollow was home to a number of Wizarding families, but as Kendra knew none of them, she would be spared the curiosity about her husband’s crime she had faced in her former village.
I think this is such a neat detail as far as world-building goes. JKR has once said in an interview that there are maybe 3-4 thousand wizards in Great Britain, but since we know how flaky her math skills are and how flaky in general her interview responses are, I'm just going to assume, from now on, that it's possible to live in the British wizarding world and not know everyone at least by sight.

picking Plangentines by moonlight
Another neat detail! Was this something we've seen before, or am I just imagining things? "Picked by moonlight" is a common herblore trope and I can't find anything in the Lexicon, but I could've sworn there was something. I might, of course, also be thinking about a fic I've either read or written. We definitely haven't seen Plangentines before; I wonder what they do. Googling turned up the Atomic Ninjas, a NationStates confederacy. o.o Is this JKR's answer to the Pirate vs Ninja debate? XP

Ron's amazing rugby-tackle of doom!!! <3333

"You're not in much of a position to make threats," said Harry.
OMG, be still, my fangirl heart.

Mundungus never volunteered to die for Harry and feels no remorse about running to save his own hide. Three guesses as to Mundungus Fletcher's Hogwarts house. ;)

Kreacher and the saucepan!!! <3333 "Perhaps just one more, Master Harry, for luck?" Awwww.

Oh, now Harry's Umbridge scars tingle, too? *snort*

Chapter 12 - Magic is Might


All this information about Muggles noticing the Death Eaters is fascinating, but why wouldn't the Death Eaters simply use Disillusionment Charms to keep themselves hidden? And I really wonder if the Muggle inhabitants of Eleven and Thirteen Grimmauld Place would have taken kindly to strangers standing outside their houses day and night.

I love that Kreacher is actually being useful and helpful. He's so awesome! "Shoes off, if you please, Master Harry, and hands washed before dinner." Awwwwww! T_T

SEVERUS SNAPE CONFIRMED AS HOGWARTS HEADMASTER
Um. We found out in Chapter 2 that Harry had given evidence against Snape with regards to killing Dumbledore. In Chapter 10, barely a month later, Snape becomes Headmaster, and no one in the whole wide wizarding world wonders why they let an accused killer be the Hogwarts Headmaster? Really? I mean, I know there's a media blackout on Voldemort's return, and the Ministry's been taken over, but you would think there would be enough concerned parents to create a problem for such an appointment? It's one thing that people are afraid and talking in whispers, but these are parents we're talking about here; parents who would get their back up at every little thing that happened in Hogwarts, before.

"Merlin's pants!"
Aww, Hermione. <333

"And what in the name of Merlin's most baggy Y-fronts was that about?"
AHAHA.

And then JKR ruins it by having Hermione smile her dialogue. Rats.

I love how in the middle of Hermione's tirade at Ron, Harry just sort of butts in with "hay guyz let's do it tomorrow, k?" XD

"Unless she's found a way of opening it and she's now possessed."
That's a really scary thought, about Umbridge, but there's also the other thing -- that locket, even closed tightly, does a real number on Ron later in the book. grasshopper's pointed out that the locket might well have been affecting Umbridge, too. I wonder how much of what we later see in the Ministry is the result of Umbridge's own malice, and how much of it is the result of Umbridge-on-Volderoids. Harry says that Umbridge is so evil that being possessed by Voldemort wouldn't affect her much, but I wonder if this is what JKR wants us to think or if it's just Harry's natural "zomg irredeemably ev0l!1" reaction to anyone who's ever done him wrong.

Action!Harry! :D :D :D <333333

"If anyone shouldn't go, it's Harry, he's got a ten-thousand-Galleon price on his head--"
I wonder if she means that literally or figuratively. T_T

I wonder if Voldemort knows that he sometimes carries Harry as a passenger in his brain. According to HBP, he was shielding the link, so he knew, so what made him forget? I know I've already complained about it above, but this still hasn't been explained to my satisfaction.

"I hate it, I hate the fact that he can get inside me, that I have to watch him when he's most dangerous. But I'm going to use it."
Aside from my inner twelve-year-old giggling at "he can get inside me", this smacks wholly of Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings. And I love that Harry is confident here. This whole book, Harry's characterisation is just to die for.

"Why are you so determined not to take responsibility for your own power?"
You know, it really weirded me out that Ron and Hermione actually did expect Harry to have some kind of arcane power. I mean, I can't blame them, precisely, but it felt really weird to me that his best friends would look at him in the same way as the rest of the wizarding world does. Wasn't he supposed to be just Harry to them? :\

Mafalda Hopkirk! :D I had no idea we'd ever actually see her in person. Yay. Into the dark theatre she goes...

lmao, poor little Cattermole. No one expects the Hermioneish inquisition! Though I'm not sure how he managed to Apparate successfully in the midst of uncontrollable vomiting. That makes no sense whatsoever, considering how important it is to concentrate, for Apparition.

"but I still think a whole pile of unconscious bodies would have drawn more attention."
Stuffed into a disused darkened theatre? Hardly. I know JKR was trying to be all clever, but this plan sucked. They should have Stunned everyone and left them in the theatre; they only have an hour before Polyjuice runs out, and by the time the Stunned Ministry wonks come to and realise what's happened, the Trio would have been long gone. I mean, they did stun Mafalda Hopkirk, who doesn't reappear to compromise the Trio's cover (whereas Cattermole does, and wrecks everything beyond repair). Someone elsewhere said that at last, the Trio had a Good Plan that Went Wrong (which is always heartening to see in fiction, or something) but I maintain that the planning was shitty, which is why it went wrong. If you're eliminating multiple threats whilst infiltrating a building, it's MUCH better to get rid of them in such a way that they're all guaranteed to be out of commission until you get what you've come for.

AHAHA RON IS LOOKING FERRETY. IS THIS SUBLIMINAL JUSTICE FOR DRACO? I don't think so, but it's amusing.

I don't understand why Harry's skulking around in the sick-splattered alleyway. What happened to Evanesco?

Aww, polyjuiced!Harry towering over Ron. <3333

FLUSHING THEMSELVES DOWN THE TOILET IS THE BEST THING EVER. It was at this point that I knew this was the real book, as I was reading the carpet copy. Only JKR, man. Only her.

The carved-up-Muggles thrones and the black MAGIC IS MIGHT statues are appropriately sinister. I wonder what happened to the Fountain of Magical Brethren.

Runcorn. I knew I recognised that name upon first read, and sure enough -- there is a Runcorn on the draft of Harry's year's class list that JKR showed during the "Harry Potter and Me" TV interview (HPM). So whoever this Albert Runcorn is, I'll bet you all sorts of cash he's got a kid in Slytherin.

Yaxley's robes are embroidedred in gold. I think this is the first time we've seen embroidery on regular wizard clothing, and it proves conclusively that Yaxley is, naturally, gay. I also wonder who made it rain in Yaxley's office.

UMBRIDGE! Dun-dun-dun-dun. I'm surprised Harry's detention scar didn't prickle.
Tags: criticism, deathly hallows commentary, fandom:hp, meta:canon
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