not your typical annihilatrix (furiosity) wrote,
not your typical annihilatrix

Draco Malfoy, Tim Hortons Manager and President of TouCan Enterprises.

So I'm still working on a proper recap post for Prophecy (got sidetracked trying to organise my various clone journals -_-), but it's coming along rather slowly. However, there is crack! And I can share it out of context of the general con report, mostly because the crack, as always, has little to do with anything.

First, CAN HAS WERK? is Draco Malfoy's August 2007 application to a Tim Hortons restaurant here in Toronto. He may be down on his luck, but he knows what he wants, damn it! And he totes told me to write every single word of that. Page 1, totally true! >.>

Second, on Prophecy Saturday, a group of us took over the wireless carpet in the lobby and drabbled. Only, it wasn't your garden-variety prompt-drabble-readaloud kind of deal. Well, it was, except our prompts? Kinder surprise eggs. tonights brought a box of them. Whoever got an egg had to write a drabble about the surprise toy inside. Unfortunately, I did not keep my toy, nor did I manage to snap a photo, but it was a toucan on a green perch. That was my prompt. Below is the fic (~300 words of pure PG-rated crack).

It was a toucan. Its grin suggested mania, or perhaps a severe case of constipation. The perch beneath it was the precisely virulent shade of green that never failed to give Harry a headache. Sadistic amusement lurked in the bird's beady little eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous," Harry told himself firmly. "It's only a drawing." He looked at the words beneath the drawing, and he ran his fingertip along the raised letters, frowning.

"TouCan Enterprises?" he asked. After the protracted silence, the words rang out like a minor thunderclap.

Malfoy, who until this point had been staring out of the window, glanced at him. "Is there a problem?"

"What is it exactly that you're selling, with a company name like that?"

"I'm afraid this is confidential information. Subsection 536 of the Ministry's Provision for the Distribution of Magical Merchandise states that--"

"Fine, fine," muttered Harry, and signed at the bottom of Malfoy's business proposal. "Next!"

A few weeks later, Harry sat in his office, avoiding yet another harebrained proposal for a Diagon Alley establishment. Instead of working, he leafed through his new copy of Quidditch Monthly, his movements deliberately slow. He read the article about Oliver Wood's most recent scandal, this time involving Aidan Lynch. He read it again, but, predictably, learned nothing new. He flipped to the next page and froze as he stared at the now-familiar manic grin and sadistic little eyes. The symbol of Malfoy's newest Diagon Alley establishment swung back and forth on its perch in the full-page advert of TouCan Enterprises.

Getting on a bit? Hairline getting thin? TouCan Enterprises can help. We specialize in Self-Moulding Toupees for all ages. Visit us at Nine Diagon Alley for a confidential appointment today!


...and yes, I'm afraid this does mean that I'm nowhere near done torturing Draco with strange, strange professions/careers in his post-Hogwarts life. :))

[This post also on: GJ | JF | IJ]
Tags: cons, cons:prophecy2007, crack, fandom, fic:character:hp:draco, fic:character:hp:harry, fic:era:post-hogwarts, fic:fandom:hp, fic:genre:crack, fic:length:flash, fic:post-dh, fic:pov:harry, fic:type:gen
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