The underlying assumption, even after all these years and all these debates, seems to be that anyone with kinks outside the vanilla zone must necessarily practice those kinks IRL. So that someone who likes breathplay on the page must have kinky breathplay sex whenever the occasion presents itself. And, by extension, anyone who gets hot and bothered looking at pictures or reading stories where children are engaged in sexual acts must necessarily involve children in his/her sex life on a regular basis, right?
Well, no, of course not, that's just a bit harsh, but there's a thin line between fantasy and pedophilia! We must be vigilant! We must be careful! We must police ourselves! Right? LOL NO. What we must do is nothing. Fandom owes nothing to anyone. 'Must' is not a word that fandom generally understands, and the sooner one works that out for oneself, the better.
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Fandom will never be a place where someone can be 100% comfortable. There are always going to be people who are appalled at what you do in fandom. Even if all you do is write fluff about kittens pooping rainbows, somebody somewhere is bitching about your precarious grasp on sanity and your utter inability to portray realistic characters. Trust me on that one.
Above all, if someone's preferences are bothering or upsetting you, you are the one with the problem. Not them. If we were talking about behaviour, that would be a different story. But we're not, and it's not.