not your typical annihilatrix (furiosity) wrote,
not your typical annihilatrix
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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Chapters 25 - 28

Chapter 25 - Shell Cottage


he could hear the constant ebb and flow of the sea, like the breathing of some great, slumbering creature
It's your sleeping chest monster, Harry! Don't let it lull you into a false sense of security. :D

So now that Harry's made a decision, he's got lots of time to enjoy the scenic views of the place! Good show. And here I just said things were starting to move faster.

in the tiniest of the cottage's three bedrooms, in which Hermione and Luna slept by night
Hermione/Luna shippers: *REJOICE*

"That sword was Ragnuk the First's, taken from him by Godric Gryffindor!"
I wonder if that's true. I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, maybe he didn't steal it, but he could have taken it from Ragnuk after a battle or something; Professor Binns is always going on about the goblin wars.

"I know that, but he needn't. I won't be lying... really."
Oh Harry, you little Slytherin, you. :P But of course he doesn't like doing this, which makes it totally okay! You can be moralbiguous (shut up, it's a word now.), kids, as long as you're appropriately reluctant beforehand.

The oldest Wizarding families store their treasures at the deepest level, where the vaults are largest and best protected
So the Potter family can't be all that ancient, can it?

Luna and Ollivander are so adorable. <3

The fire crackled and popped in the grate
...but did it snap?

Bill returned before they had finished their first course, his long hair tangled by the wind.
*hands* Y SO GAY, HARRY?

"It is I, Remus John Lupin! [etc]"
Forget sentence structure and realistic dialogue for a second. SHELL COTTAGE IS UNDER THE FIDELIUS CHARM AND BILL IS THE SECRET KEEPER. WHY THE FUCK IS HE WONDERING WHO IS AT THE DOOR??? Grargh.

No one better for godfather than Harry Potter? The guy who's barely escaping with his life every time he goes out of doors? It's like "no one better to teach a bunch of inexperienced kids than Hagrid, who isn't even a full wizard!"

the fire leapt and crackled
Yeah, we get it. It crackled!

It was a statement, not a question
Yes, thank you, Captain Obvious. Questions generally are followed by question marks.

To a goblin, the rightful and true master of any object is the maker, not the purchaser.
THIS IS THE KIND OF STUFF I LIKE IN MY FANTASY FICTION.

It's ironic, because Bill's merely being used as an exposition fairy here, but his character is really well-illuminated by the little exchange between Harry and Bill.

So Harry thinks Sirius was a reckless godfather, does he? JKR, your Authorial Shovel of Head-Hitting (+2) is showing.

Chapter 26 - Gringotts


Bellatrix sheds! XD

He had been surprised, but pleased to discover that it worked for him at least as well as Hermione's had done.
Harry/Draco's wand = this book's true OTP

"We've told Bill and Fleur we're leaving tomorrow, and we've told them not to get up to see us off." They had been firm on this point
And Bill and Fleur just rolled over and played dead like the good little bitches they are? Riiiiight.

Harry was impressed to learn that Hermione had protected her beaded Bag of Holding (+5) from the Snatchers by stuffing it down her sock. The question arises, then, why she didn't keep the freakin' Sword of Gryffindor inside the beaded bag, seeing as it was their one ace against Voldemort's Horcruxes. Oh wait, that would have totally ruined the plot. My bad.

Hermione disapproves of double-crossing Griphook for the Greater Good, but she didn't flinch at blackmail for the Greater Good. Funny that.

[Ron and Harry] were sharing the sitting room with Dean
THREESOME! :D

Okay, Ron, come here so I can do you...
Heh heh heh. :D

"Well, he's not my type, but he'll do," said Harry.
AHAHAHA OF COURSE HE ISN'T YOUR TYPE, HARRY. YOU PREFER THE HANDSOME ONES. :D

though several new establishments dedicated to the Dark Arts had been created since his last visit
So, wait, the Death Eaters are openly in charge now? Is this also part of Voldemort's strategy of "hiding in the shadows"? wtf.

Travers heard that the inhabitants of Malfoy Manor were confined to the house after Harry's escape. Shouldn't that include Draco? So what the fuck is he doing at school later?

Probity Probes
*snicker*

Harry pointed Draco's wand at each of the guards in turn
I love that he refers to it as Draco's wand. XDDDDD

Harry raised the hawthorn wand beneath the cloak, pointed it at the old goblin, and whispered, for the first time in his life, "Imperio!"
WHAT.

Harry acted without thinking. Pointing his wand at Travers, he muttered, "Imperio!" once more.
WHAT.

Now that I got the WHAT out of my system, let's replay this for a moment. At nothing more but the urging of Griphook, Harry whips out an Unforgivable Curse? One of the ones that are punishable by instant Azkabannination? REALLY? Without a single thought to spare for its wrongness? Does this mean they predicted needing to use it? That they practised for it? No, they can't have practised, because just above, it was made clear that it was the first time in his life Harry had used the Imperius Curse. I can't even begin to express in words how many kinds of WRONG there are with this picture -- for one thing, aren't you supposed to have some kind of evil intent in order to cast one of these successfully? Yaxley had bragged back in chapter one that he had been successful in placing Thicknesse under the Imperius Curse, and it was clearly supposed to be a super amazing accomplishment. As it stands, the Imperius Curse -- the actual workings of which, by the way, are never explained to any useful end -- seems totally easy and castable at a moment's notice by someone who hasn't even finished Hogwarts. And this is supposed to be the scary UNFORGIVABLE curse? The one where the caster gains some kind of vague control over the victim and -- apparently without thought -- makes them do their bidding? And Harry Potter has just used it without a pang of guilt or shame?

Not enough WHAT in the world. All I've got is EPIC FAIL.

"I don't think I did it strongly enough"
Oh, so is that supposed to make it okay? FAIL, JKR. EPIC MOTHERFUCKING FAIL.

As you no doubt have guessed by now, this whole bit made me VERY ANGRY with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. :D

Harry pointed his wand at Travers. "Imperio!"
JESUS FUCK HE'S SLINGING IT AROUND LIKE IT'S EXPELLIARMUS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, JKR???? AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

The Thief's Downfall is pretty awesome, in other news.

"Imperio!" Harry said again
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH YOU FUCKER WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. THAT'S FOUR TIMES IN AS MANY MINUTES. I DON'T EVEN GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE DRAGON, OKAY.

with golden coins and goblets, silver armor, the skins of strange creatures -- some with long spines, other with drooping wings -- potions in jeweled flasks, and a skull still wearing a crown.
The Lestranges are freakin' WEIRD. :D

The Geminio and Flagrante curse combo was really cool. Why is it that the most awesome magic in the series belongs to the house-elves and the goblins?

Hermione fumbled inside her robes, drew out a beaded bag, rummaged for a few seconds, then removed the shining sword
So now that it's no longer a plot point, she puts it in the beaded bag? Lame.

"Levicorpus."
Because Wingardium Leviosa, which doesn't hoist you suddenly by the ankle and make you crash into suits of armour (and set off a chain reaction of cursed-object-multiplication), is just too pedestrian for the likes of our intrepid heroes.

Harry shoved the cup into his pocket
The same pocket from which the photograph of Grindelwald conveniently fell out a few chapters ago?

"Stupefy!"
Amazing! The trio of intrepid heroes actually fight their way through the goblins! I guess they only let themselves be caught when it's convenient for plot purposes. Gotcha.

I'd like to take this moment to point out that it was Harry's idea to ride upon a dragon. XDDDDD (is it madness or inspiration? Read some H/D fanfic to find out!)

All things considered, the Dragon Escape was pretty awesome! Action is one of the things JKR is really, really skilled at.

Chapter 27 - The Final Hiding Place


"Well I don't know how to break this to you," said Ron, "but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts."
I love Ron. That is all.

How could Lord Voldemort not have known, if he, himself, most important and precious, had been attacked, mutilated?
Well, indeed. How did he not know? He clearly expected to know, and something tells me he expected to know because he actually, um, knew what he was doing when he created the Horcruxes. This was never explained, and it's annoying. Because if Voldemort had been able to feel the destruction of Horcruxes, the story would have turned out very differently. But that's not a good excuse for not explaining why he couldn't feel the losses.

Dumbledore had known his middle name
Uh, not just Dumbledore. You spelled it out for Harry Potter five years ago in the Chamber of Secrets, jackass. Is he seriously trying to make a case for nobody knowing that Tom Riddle = Voldemort? Keh.

This chapter was really short compared to the others. Weird.

Chapter 28 - The Missing Mirror


I have to admit that after all the tedious descriptions of preparations for each of their moves in the previous chapters, I was pretty relieved to see this chapter start in medias res, so to speak.

he remembered with piercing accuracy, how he had landed here nearly a year before
I will never stop making fun of Harry for forgetting Grindelwald's face when it suited the plot when he's got such a phenomenal memory about everything else, when it suits the plot.

The Caterwauling Charm is AWESOME.

"Accio Cloak!"
I *loved* finding out that this doesn't work on Harry's Invisibility Cloak. Except it should have happened in an earlier book, so as to give us a subtle indication that there was something special about this cloak.

OMG! It's the Death Eaters! And they're actually being efficient! YIPPEE! Only... just how many Death Eaters are there? The prior books seem to indicate that there are barely a handful of them (because Voldemort doesn't make just anyone a Death Eater, do you see) and that's another thing that annoys me: a group of maybe fifty people is able to subjugate 10 or so thousand MAGIC USERS? REALLY? But that's been an ongoing problem with the series, and it was never resolved, so meh.

The Dark Lord wants Potter dead by no hands but his--
Still lame!

He'll be easier to kill if he's been Kissed first!
omg! The Death Eaters are displaying signs of competence! STOP THE PRESSES.

"And where will you lot traffic potions and poisons when my pub's closed down? What will happen to your little sidelines then?"
Uh, that's a pretty lame reason for them to let Aberforth go, all things considered. They can just take over the Three Broomsticks; they're the ones running the show, aren't they? Jeez. Or is he implying that Voldemort disapproves of illegal potions and poisons? Hee.

"Bought it from Dung 'bout a year ago
A magical coincidence! -_-

"Brains like that, you could be a Death Eater, son."
AHAH. TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN. XDD So wait... JKR is aware that the Death Eaters are a joke?

It'll never be safe for you here, Potter, he wants you too badly.
Harry/Voldemort fangirls: *REJOICE*

I really liked Aberforth, btw. I have a soft spot for grumpy old men. :> And the whole story about Ariana was really nicely done -- JKR seems really in her element when she lets her characters tell stories; both Kreacher's and Aberforth's tales read so much easier and quicker compared to a lot of the regular Harry-vision.

God, Harry can even repeat people's words back at them verbatim. But he couldn't remember Grindelwald's face (or Gregorovitch's name)? Yeah, bite me, I'm still on that. :P

Don't think I don't know how this might end. I've known it for years.
Aw, Harry. :( *loves*

Using Ariana's portrait to communicate was such a great touch. This whole Hogwarts-and-Hogsmeade linkup worked really well.

And out of it, his hair overgrown, his face cut, his robes ripped, clambered the real Neville Longbottom
YAY NEVILLE!!! YAY YAY YAY! :DD I love Neville. :>
Tags: criticism, deathly hallows commentary, fandom:hp, meta:canon
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