Crazy high school girls: *are really fucking crazy*
Creepy guy in a pink bunny suit: *will probably not appear on the show again*
New AI judge: I'm kind of hot. Also, I am going to sit here with a disdainful look on my face so everyone will think I'm the female Simon.
'Fro Man: Check it out, I'm totally Michael Jackson.
Tattoo Chick: I'm clearly a shoo-in. Also, the first person to compare me to Carly Smithson gets dropkicked.
Judges: You're in.
Simon: People like you are what's wrong with
Special Snowflake Dude: But I just want someone to tell me I'm great.
Simon: You're coming off as a drama queen.
Special Snowflake Dude: But I am special! Can't you see how special I am? I even butchered Bon Jovi for you. :(
Special Snowflake Dude: Simon, I'm JUST LIKE YOU. YOU CRAWLED UP FROM THE DIRT.
Simon: But I never begged.
Unremarkable Boy: Hey I sound just like N*Sync or whatever punctuation mark they're using these days.
Judges: YOU'RE IN.
Striped Shirt: I am so terrified. Look at the various angles of me terrified. Also, I sound like Bjork with a hangover.
Randy: LOL. JUST. LOL.
Music Student: *sounds like a chipmunk*
Tweed Dude: *does not sound like Celine Dion*
Star Earrings: I have a mohawk so it doesn't matter how I sing.
X-Ray: Hello my name is X-Ray and I am a mariachi :D
Charitable Girl: Let me repeat the description of my charity for you! I clearly have it memorised and rattle it off whenever asked, but it's not like you can tell! Right?
f: Has forgotten whether she went through or not.
Paula: *shocks everyone by being mean for once* You should do movies that have monsters in them! :D
Pink Hat Songwriter: I'm the sort of person with very little natural ability who thinks I just have to WORK HARD and I'll magically get better! :D
Vaguely Cowlike Print Girl: I'm actually pretty good!
Judges: Hey, you're actually pretty good!
Simon: Grow some teeth, though. Metaphorical ones.
Roughneck: I am really tough because I'm a roughneck. I also have a decent voice.
Simon: I can't resist poking fun at Ryan Seacrest. For this, you pass.
Bikini Girl: I'm really hot.
Simon & Randy: WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD :D
Paula & Kara: *don't count*
Sexual Chocolate: I got a tattoo, wanna see it? :D
Judges: It's spelled wrong. Go home.
Purple Bracelet: I'm totally bubbly and I can sing too but I'm not super awesome but if you give me a chance I'll totally lead all the other contestants in cheerleading routines to keep them from getting bored or suicidal omg I am so nervous Simey why you gotta be like that baby I can too sing Killing Me Softly only after I--
Simon's vote: *counts for two*
Girl Without Her Family: I'm actually Bonnie Tyler. Botox is awesome.
Judges: Wow, what a unique and totally new sound! Who's Bonnie Tyler?
Emo Teen Boy: I make horror movies. Also, I can actually sing! I auditioned for Panic! At the Disco last week, but they all called me jailbait, so here I am. :D
Judges: We totally expected you to be bad. But you weren't! SURPRISE!
Geek Boy: Closet mould made me sick. I'm missing a spanish test for this. :|
Simon: You're gay for me aren't you
Geek Boy: It's okay, I like Simon. I mean. Not that way.
Simon: Let's just get this over with.
Geek Boy: I know I just denied coming out of the closet, but I am going to sing a romantic song and insist Randy of all people sings along with the chorus.
Randy: I like you.
Blind Guy: I'm just going to steal this show now, kthxbye.