Paula: HI TO YOU TOO! *glomp*
Blondie: I have this powerfully emotional voice. Everyone is like, so amazed to hear this BEAUTIFUL voice come out of me. I'm so awesome.
f: She sounds like a three year-old's first attempts at playing the violin.
Simon: You sound like a cat jumping off the Empire State Building.
Blondie: Oh, I must have picked the wrong song. Overconfidence is sexy, especially when you have no talent!
Huge Earrings: I picked a song by Simon Cowell but couldn't remember the lyrics!
Simon: Well done you!
Cowgirl Ballerina: I'm totally normal! I don't sound bad either!
Kara: I like your package.
Simon: I'm not even going to ask.
Hairy Opera Man: Never mind that plenty of former opera students have been booted off in the past. I'll be different!
Randy: *can't stop loling*
Simon: I really hate you.
Opera music: *is gloomy and foreboding*
David Cook montage: *is all nostalgic*
Series of squeaky-voiced men: *not so nostalgic akshully*
White Fedora: *ahem* *koff koff* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Kara: I like your instrument.
Dread Pirate Jason Jr: I'm just as high as my brother, who is girly.
Dread Pirate Jason: EXCUSE ME WTF DID U MEEN BY DAT
Dread Pirate Jason Jr: You're too emotional, or something. LOL.
Kara: You have a secret! I like it.
Simon: I'm starting to wonder about this woman.
Banana Dude: Do you want a banana?
Obvious Ex-Biker: I'm a welder. Yep. Totally a welder.
Paula: I like your vibrato.
Simon: Oh, not you too.
Tu-Tone Hair: I'm actually constipated, this is why I pull all those scary faces when I sing. Or do anything, really.
Geeky Cowgirl: Meet
Judges: Happy birthday, you're going to Hollywood!
Rapper Sisters: We're so talented.
The Older One: My sister is more talented than I am. And for a wonder, I'm not being even a little bit fake when I say that!
Judges: We agree.
Blue Tie: *pulls funny faces and screams a lot*
Judges: We like you anyway.
Ryan Seacrest: This is American Idol.
Sensitive Glasses Dude: My wife died and life sucks :(
Judges: We're actually letting you go to Hollywood 'cause you're good. Not out of sympathy for your grief. Huh.
Line-up of bad female singers: *features googly eyes, bad teeth, and terrible skin problems*
Noop-Dogg: I am the token representative of the actually intelligent segment of America's population.
Simon: You're friends with Bill Gates, aren't you? Say, I've heard about Windows 7 and...
Creepy guy in a pink bunny suit: *actually appeared on the show again*
Blue-Shirt Ginger: I has cheerleaders. Also, I memorised Kara's name.
Judges: You still suck.
Obama Fan: Check it out, I can pull off an MJ song. Also, I have a cute daughter.
Kara: I like your vibe.
Simon: I thought we talked about this, Kara.
Memento Guy: I still wear a medal I won in elementary school. It's proof I can sing, even though my mother says I can't.
Simon: Your mother is right.
Kanye West: I had a dream about Simon last night. Also, I can sing very, very, very, very, very good. I'm begging you people. Plzplzplzplzplzplzplz!
Judges: Fine, fine. Off you go to Hollywood. Freak.
Narcoleptic Girl: I'm still asleep. Sleep-singing. It's the new in thing.
Narcoleptic Girl: God's going to get you for this.
Tornado Survivor Lady: I just won this competition.
Judges: Yeah... actually, you probably did.
Simon: It's always the people who don't constantly talk about being amazing who are actually amazing.
f: *likes her best*
I don't have the technical skills to make LJ a more visually stimulating place —
but maybe you do!