f: This does not bode well.
Simon: You sound like a donkey.
Barbie: Well I know I can sing so they can fuck off.
Starving Artist: I've been at this audition business for years, man. I'm a pro.
Simon: I think I'm in love.
Starving Artist: *cries*
The Gunslinger: Who you callin' a redneck?
The Gunslinger: Be careful.
Cross Boy: I look like like a Ken doll but I sound pretty good.
Simon: *attempts to provide constructive feedback*
Paula and Kara: *don't let him*
Randy: There are women under the table.
Duelling Piano: Excuse me, I'm just trying to catch my breath. Was I supposed to sing?
Judges: We're on crack so we like you.
Simon: You could be great. Just believe in yourself! Also, I am on crack.
Randy: Welcome to Hollywood!
Super Nerd: Ni hao. Everything I know about singing I learned from YouTube.
Simon: It shows.
Super Nerd: I'm just thirsty, that's why I sound like I'm inside a barrel.
Paula: Um, why are you using my straw. :(
Super Nerd: Well, I tried my best but my best wasn't good enough~!
Rocker Mom: Hello, I am an overachiever.
Randy: Well, I didn't expect that to come out of you.
Simon: You have a very commercial face.
Screamo: I'm here to work! This is my job! I'm gonna be America's Next Top Idol.
Ryan: Were there dogs barking in here?
Simon: No, that was just Kara.
Girl from the News: I can't dance or sing but I'm kind of sweet. Please don't hurt me. :(
Kara: I'll just be pointlessly mean to you now.
Simon: This is why I didn't want her on the show. At least I have style.
Prophecy Girl: We're poor! Lucky for us, I'm talented.
Judges: ... we were totally going to hate you, but damn.