On the day of your fake death, simply post this macro, unaltered, to your journal. It's up to you whether or not you enable comments, but in case anyone wishes to communicate their sincere condolences, it might be politer to leave them enabled.
Everyone here at Evil Overlord Laboratories™ agrees that this will enable the internet to correctly distinguish, 100% of the time, between times when people actually die and times when people want to abandon their internet identity for arcane psychological reasons. Violators of this totally awesome new internet policy will be forced to watch David Hasselhoff frolic with Shar Pei puppies, denied cupcakes, and possibly crusherd.
Thank you for your kind attention to this matter. We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
Hollywood Week - Day 1 & 2
Barry Manilow: I will now say some totally meaningless things. This makes me your mentor.
Contestants: *take notes*
Tornado Survivor Lady: I'm stickin' to Whitney.
Judges: You already won the competition, remember?
Kanye West: I can't stop pulling faces when I sing.
Judges: This means no.
Kanye West: What kind of message are you sending to America?
Judges: That, like 80% of the American public, we disapprove of weird people?
Kanye West: Well, your pants are cheap, Simon.
Random Vacationing Contestants: We need a horse.
Nathaniel Marshall (who?): I'm one of those kids who's been through a lot and nobody has ever supported me. *sob* I want this more than anything. It's ON. My SKIN.
Noop-Dogg: Psh, Hollywood. How about I kick it Bollywood-style, bitches?
Jasmine Murray: I'm still awesome.
The Hippy: Oh my God, like, there are people here who are better than me. That is totally not groovy.
Simon: Oh, shut the hell up, all of you. You're through.
Stephen Fowler: I'm a volcano of emotions.
Enrique Egliseas: Even if I don't win this, I have a shot at a boyband.
Randy: You guys totally rule.
Vaughn Who?: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Simon: That was totally indulgent nonsense. But guess what? You're through!
Lipstick Dude: Take me seriously, Seacrest.
Randy: You know what's funny? You actually can sing.
Jackie (Guitar Girl): Forget the singing. Have a look at my teeth.
Randy: N-Nice teeth. >.>
Bikini Girl: I'm back! Didja miss me?
Ryan: Yes. You make me look straight.
Roughneck: I'm one of those guys who have intimidating bulk, but I'm also totally unassuming and therefore adorable. Having a nice voice helps too. Not that I actually know any of this.
Jesus: What? They cut me? I BETTER GET ON THE NEXT FLIGHT HOME. Can't believe I missed a day of work for this shit.
Tattoo Chick: I rehearsed a song for ages and ages! Then I sang a different one in Hollywood.
Paula: That was not very smart.
Some Girl: Let me try and lobby my way to the next Round. I can't believe I'm the loser in this bunch.
The group round tomorrow had better be more entertaining. >:|