Everyone: FINALLY, JEEZ.
Ryan: Simon, I missed you SO MUCH. So much. Never leave me again.
Simon: Ryan, we're live. By the way, I like your hair.
Guitar Girl: Haha, the window pwned Simon before he could criticise me! I'm going to sing A Little Less Conversation today!
Simon: I was actually going to just tell you to fire your stylist. Too bad I didn't get a chance to.
Guitar Girl: Randy lent them to me, dude!1
f: Anyone who can wear that outfit and feel like she looks great in it is secretly a serial killer. I'm not even going to mention the attitude.
Mr Scruffy: I quit my job to be the next American Idol! I will sing A Song for You.
Simon: Your voice is great, but you lack star quality.
f: Isn't that what they said about David Archuleta? >.>
Overachiever Mom: I shall sing I Never Loved a Man. Note the cleverly placed photograph of my soldier SO in the backstory clip.
Judges: Holy crap, we love you!
f: Holy crap, I'm deaf now. D:
Cross Boy: I'm a country dude, so I'm going to sing Hick Town. :D
Simon: You're forgettable.
Cross Boy: I don't think country fans will forget that.
f: Wow, he's boring and arrogant!
Stevie Wright: I'm singing You Belong with Me. Here's hoping I won't sound like a grandma.
Judges: You didn't sound like a grandma, but you picked the wrong song, dude.
f: zippity doo-dah-day... nom nom tangerines... was that Neil Patrick Harris in the audience? o.o
NOOP-DOGG: O hai. >:D I'm going to sing Angel of Mine for you.
Judges: We have mixed reactions to your singing tonight, but we hope you come back.
NOOP-DOGG: Let me show you how to be awesome without constantly repeating "I'm awesome."
f: YAY NOOP-DOGG! :DDDDD Seriously, this guy is so down to earth and decent, it makes me want to cry that not everyone is like him.
Bubble Tea Girl: I will butcher Every Little Thing She Does is Magic!
Judges: ...wow, that really sucked.
f: I was seriously wincing as I watched her. :(
Roughneck: I will sing I Don't Want to Be and try to smile at all the wrong moments.
Judges: That was somewhat disappointing.
f: I think he might've hurt his chances thar. :\
Kara's Number One Fan: Natural Woman. Let me sing you it. Her. Whatever.
Judges: *are contradictory but mostly agree she picked the wrong song*
f: I actually really liked her vocal, but I need to know who the hell dresses these girls.
Dude Who Forgot His Lyrics: I hope I won't forget the lyrics to Rock with You.
Judges: Good job on not forgetting the lyrics! But you kinda sucked anyway.
f: Sorry dude, I like you, but between you and NOOP-DOGG, there's no contest.
Prom Queen: Hahah! You thought I was going to butcher Celine Dion? But I have a surprise for you. I'm going to butcher Whitney instead. Saving All My Love for You! Take it away, Ricky-n-the-band!
Emo Glasses Dude: Hero. By Mariah Carey.
Judges: A HERO IS YOU!!!!111!!!11 SHUT UP SIMON!!1!11
f: A hero is he! Damn, he could knock out Noop-Dogg. D: I really like this guy, though!!
Ryan: You don't have the same organ we all do, Simon.
Simon: I thought we agreed we wouldn't discuss our private life on live television.
Only three of them get to stay! Who will it be! (Tomorrow, on American Idol...)