Kara: There are no second chances. Never mind that there's a wild card round coming.
Paula: I hope you picked the right song.
Simon: It's too late for advice now.
Jasmine: I will sing Love Song and sound like I'm in a barrel.
Judges: You sounded like you were in a barrel.
Jasmine: Well, I think I did really well.
f: Oh, not another one.
Advil commercial: *comes on*
f: SHUT THE FUCK UP. I AM STILL NOT TAKING ADVIL FOR THIS COLD. TEA, DAMN IT. *DRINKS TEA*
Duelling Piano: I'm going to sing Viva la Vida while looking like I really have to pee.
Judges: We were not blown away. Justin Timberlake, you ain't.
Duelling Piano: But I wanna be a rock star. :(
f: I'm torn on him. I like his voice. His face, not so much.
Bartender Girl: I will sing This Love while smiling coquettishly! Because clearly I have never listened to the lyrics!
Judges: That was pretty horrible. Nice legs, though.
Bartender Girl: ...butbut! I'm one of the oldest people here! I deserve this!! Butbut!
f: No. Shut up. Go away.
NickOrNormund: I'm having an identity crisis while singing And I'm Telling You!
f: LOLOLOLOLOL I HOPE HE GOES THROUGH.
Redhead: I will sing Alone and be the first contestant all night to pick the correct song for both my voice and appearance!
Judges: Dude, she nailed it. She totally nailed it. We could cry.
f: Wow, I suddenly love this girl!
Smiley: I'm going to sing Man in the Mirror while bobbing up and down like a crack addict.
Judges: We are going to subtly bully Kara by saying you rock after she said you sucked.
f: If he gets through, it'll be because he's cute.
Half-Sleeve Girl: I'll make awkward robotic movements while singing Put Your Records On.
Judges: Hmm. We kinda like her!
f: I kinda like her too!
The Welder: If You Could Only See is the song I picked and it's doing me no favours.
Judges: ...that song choice did you no favours.
The Welder: I disagree.
f: Okay, you can go home tomorrow.
(Formerly) Pigtails: I will sing Bette Davis Eyes and be utterly forgettable.
Judges: That was pretty bland and forgettable.
f: I'll be surprised if she even registers as a blip on anyone's radar.
Kai (Skull Shirt): What Becomes of the Broken-hearted will make me sound like a ship singer! Just like Simon said last time!
Judges: You'd be a good back-up singer.
Mishavonna: I'm going to sing Drops of Jupiter. I will sing it well. But I won't be memorable.
Judges: Bad song. Really bad song. Really, really, really bad song.
f: Meh. Boring performers are boring. Long-winded judges are long-winded. Shut up. Go home. Ugh.
Emo Boy: I'm taking on Satisfaction by the Rolling Stones. Mick Jagger I ain't.
Judges: You may not be Mick, but we like you, man!
f: THANK GOD IT'S OVER. But yeah, Emo Boy is good and he can stay. Even if he does really like the Twilight books. :|