Simon: I'm going to drown my embarrassment in the product placement.
Ryan: I'm not done talking yet! And what's this I hear about you and Obama?
Simon: Oh look, it's a groupsing!
Groupsing: *emphasises that there are only three girls in this top 10, but still sucks*
Ruben Studdard's Voice: *is pretty*
Ruben Studdard: *sadly, is still not relevant*
Ryan: Well, then, down to business. Adam, get up.
Audience: *GOES APESHIT*
Ryan: Yeah, yeah, he's safe. Now, Matt.
Audience: *goes slightly less apeshit*
Ryan: You're in the bottom three tonight, Matt. Kris?
Audience: *somewhat subdued*
Ryan: You, too...
Kris: *starts heading towards Bottom 3 Stools*
Ryan: ...are safe.
Kris: Oh.
f: Okay, that was adorable.
Ryan: Lil and Michael, plz get up. That song you sang, Lil? Sent Kimberly Locke and Jennifer Hudson to the bottom 3!
Lil: :S
Ryan: But not you! You are safe. Michael, off you go to join Matt.
f: YES SECOND WEEK IN A ROW VOTE HIM OFF ALREADY THX.
Joss Stone & Smokey Robinson: *sing us all a song with eyesex*
Ryan: Whew, that was hott.
f: You're not fooling anyone, Ryan.
Ryan: So, Allison...
Audience: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Ryan: Last week, you were in the bottom 3. This week? You are safe. NOOP-DOGG? ALSO SAFE.
f: YAY
Ryan: Now, Danny? Simon may have said you were clumsy and amateurish, but America doesn't like Simon. Megan and Scott, it's down to you two.
Megan: I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on.
Ryan: Scott, you're in the bottom 3.
Megan: YAY! ~*~MY FANS HAVE SAVED MEEEEE~*~ THANK YOU VFTW! XD whoooo, lookit the pretty colours~~~~~
Ryan: Scott, Matt, and Michael... who is safe?
Randy: Gotta be Matt.
Ryan: HA! It's Scott.
Ryan: I want to ask you a question about something really special, Simon.
Simon: We're on TV, Ryan.
Stevie Wonder: *performs*
f: squeal
Stevie Wonder: I love you, Barack Obama!
Ryan: SO DOES SIMON!
Ryan: Michael, America thinks you suck.
Michael: They're going to make me sing after Stevie Wonder? Oh shi--
Ryan: Take it away, Ricky-n-the-band!
f: This is even more painful than last night. He's all earnest and trying to be cute, but no.
Judges: No.
f: Phew.
Also, ahaha, Megan was SO HIGH.