not your typical annihilatrix (furiosity) wrote,
not your typical annihilatrix
furiosity

  • Mood:
  • Music:

American Idol Season 9: Boston Auditions

FTR, next year, I am watching X-Factor and not Idol. Because there is no AI without Simon Cowell. :P So I hope this season is fun!

Paula's departure: *is announced with little fanfare*
Ellen: Forget about these guest people, ok. I am your new judge.
f: yay

3 Blonde Girls: I'm the next American... wait, what?
All of America, Apparently: NO! I AM THE NEXT AMERICAN IDOL!

Boston: *rains on*
Ryan: IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!~
Posh: I'm here to build someone's career.

Pink Karaoke Girl: I know everything about AI! I've played the game over nine thousand times. And cyber!Simon told me "great job"! I'm ready for my close-up!
The Judges: ...you really, really suck. And so does the AI game.
Pink Karaoke Girl: Also I am living in the game, because to me, Kara? You don't exist. You're Paula. Also, Posh? You're just David Beckham's wife, ok? Also, I have Tourette's. Fuck-shit-ass-bitch-cunt-shooby-de-doo-wop!
f: ...yikes.

Maddy Curtis: I am 16 I have the most awesome family in the world!
f: Awww, you so do. *_*
Mattie Curtis: Also I can sing!
Judges: Yeah, you actually can! And you're not annoying! Welcome to Hollywood :D

Holla Boy: I'm really obnoxious!
Judges: Yeah, you are! Go home!
Holla Boy: I have a lot of friends.
Simon: Well, I never had friends in school.
Holla Boy: Shocker.
Randy: Stop singing forever. Please.
Holla Boy: Well can I at least have a hug? >_>

Girls of Boston: We're better than the boys.

Amadeo Diricco: My wife told me to do this. EVERYBODY KNOWS I'M HERE.
f: Aw, I like this guy.
Judges: Yeah, we like him too!

Blond Hippy: I'm a deeply spiritual guy. I like long walks, music, flowers, and the wind in my hair...
f: Dude, this isn't match.com
Blond Hippy: ...bunnies, spiritual awakenings, sounding like a goat when I sing...
Judges: No.
Blond Hippy: Well, I was brilliant. They've missed out. I'm so amazing. A free spirit. I like long walks...

f: Man, I wish they didn't show so many people genuinely crying. It's not entertaining at all. :(

Cultural Appropriation Girl: I JUST LOVE ANIME I'M AN OTAKU I WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN JAPAN AND I WANT A GIANT ROBOT AND I AM GOING TO SING JANICE JOPLIN.
Judges: That was horrible.
Cultural Appropriation Girl: Excuse me? You can't say that to me! My voice coaches! I've had two! THEY said I was great! Hmph!
f: She should invest in a humility coach instead...
Cultural Appropriation Girl: HOW DARE THEY? HOW DARE THEY TELL ME I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH? I AM SPECIAL AND AMAZING.
f: Why do these nutjobs always say the same thing? Don't they watch the show and realise how fucking embarrassing they are?

Boys of Boston: We actually do not suck as much as you thought!

Creepy Antisocial Man: I hate waiting. Also I'm single. Ladiesssss.
Simon: Why are you here?
Creepy Antisocial Man: That's a stupid question.
Simon: Don't be a smartass.
Creepy Antisocial Man: Well, sorry. I'm going to take off my glasses and sing House of the Rising Sun. You know that song?
Judges: You must be joking.
Kara: I hate you, Creepy Antisocial Man.
Creepy Antisocial Man: I was just trying to sound confident.
Posh: Well, you weren't.
Kara: You're too arrogant. I hate you. Leave now and never come back!
Creepy Antisocial Man: I'm so confused. What just happened?
f: ok, so creepy antisocial man was creepy and antisocial? But man, Kara's a douche.

Boys of Boston: Actually, we really do suck a lot. Sorry.

Ashley Rodriguez: I sing well and I'm awesome!
Judges: Yes, you are!

Titanium Wrist Dude: I'm a drummer, but now that I broke both wrists, I'll give singing a try. >.>
Judges: ...we did not expect this. You kind of rock.
f: I think he kind of rocks too >.> And he seems like such a decent guy.

Waitress Girl: I'm better than most people who audition here.
Judges: No, you are not.
f: She was hot though. >.>
Simon: Yeah, she was. >.>
Posh: Yep. >.>

AI: *makes fun of Boston people and their accents* It would have been funny if they hadn't also thrown in an Asian guy into the mix.

Mike Davis: I'M ON A BOAT. Well, not ON it. But I HAVE a boat. It's called Codzilla. :D?
Judges: You're confident without being obnoxious. And you're not terrible!
Simon: I say yes. Gotta pee.
Randy: I say no. Also gotta pee.
Kara and Posh: ...
f: Man, I wish Posh were the regular judge, not Kara.

Katie Stevens: My grandma is awesome.
Judges: And so are you!

Joshua Blaylock: I have a green shirt. Also I sound too young for my age.
Simon: You sound like you're fourteen.
Joshua Blaylock: Aww. Give me a chance! :D?
Randy: I will be your life coach! Repeat phrases after me! Be assertive! Tell Simon to shut up!
Joshua Blaylock: Okay! :D *wags tail* Simon? SHUT UP! Please :D?
f: Why are all the decent singers such woobies this year? That whole exchange was so fucking adorable.

AI Producers: *add subtitles to an Asian man speaking English with an accent*
f: WHAT THE FUCK? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT? FUCK YOU, NEWSCORP. FUCK YOU RIGHT IN THE FUCKING EAR. ARGH!!! >:((((((

Justin Williams: I had cancer, but I don't anymore!
Judges: Well, that's good, 'cause you're going to Hollywood!
f: It made me kind of sad that he seemed to have come to the auditions alone. :(

Michael Jackson: I'm so nervous I keep forgetting the lyrics!
Posh: Well, I like your outfit...

Bosa Mora: I have an awesome family and I can sing! :D?
Simon: I thought you were boring.
Posh: Simon, you are so mean. I thought you were very good!
Randy: Let's vote.
f: It's like Paula never left! Can we keep Posh?

Leah Laurenti: Hey, I've done this all my life, and I'm kind of sensitive about my ability to sing...
f: Except you shouldn't be, because you're fucking phenomenal. T_T
Judges: Yeah, what f said.

Tomorrow: Atlanta.
Tags: fandom:ai
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 35 comments