not your typical annihilatrix (furiosity) wrote,
not your typical annihilatrix

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American Idol Season 9: Chicago Auditions

US President Barack Obama: I am the ultimate American Idol.

Tu-Tone Hair Girl: I'm America's Next Top Model!
Crowd: That's nice.

Shania Twain: I'm your next American Idol... judge.
Kara: As if I wasn't scary enough already, I am going to stalk Shania Twain now.

Curly Girl: I was standoffish about trying out for American Idol.
f: I love that she said "standoffish".
Simon: Your dad divorced your mum. How do you feel about that? Oh, whatever. I'm not a head-shrinker, but welcome to Hollywood!

Broadway Baby: I'm here to be famous and make my dreams come true~! Hurry up and make a musical about me! Also, I have inappropriate dreams about Ryan Seacrest. I can do this thing with my boobs.
Kara: She's boob-boxing. Boob-boxing! Boob! Boxing!
f: Yes, Kara, you came up with a stupid saying and want everyone to appreciate how creative you are. Shut up.
Randy: Musical boobs.
Simon: It's a no.

Unremarkable Blond Girl: *doesn't sing too badly*
Judges: Yep, welcome to Hollywood.
f: *yawn*

A Bunch of Cosplayers: *are bad at singing*
A Bunch of Non-Cosplayers: *are also bad at singing*

Contestant's Mum: Damn you, Simon, you didn't like my little girl!
Simon: Don't you still love me, though?
Contestant's Mum: ...yes.

Traffic Violation Girl: Look, you've already let me to go Hollywood twice, right.
Judges: Right.

Randy: This is a town of talent. Like Kanye.
f: *snort*

White Hat Dude of Considerable Stature: *squeak squeak squeakity squeak!*

Girl with Big Necklace: AND I................
Judges: Here's a singing lesson. Now go home.

Judges: We are going to display some actual humanity here and not make fun of a war vet.
f: Jesus, I felt so fucking bad for him. He was so polite and nervous. :( I mean, he didn't deserve to go through at any rate, but I just hate that they even used his audition. :(((

The Champion: I'm tired of eating microwaved dinners. I wanna eat steak.
Judges: No steak for you.
The Champion: Wahhh :(

White Shirt: I am the first male singer in forever who doesn't sound like Justin bloody Timberlake. Clearly I am awesome.
Shania: You have a beautiful bottom end. And nice lips. And a nice tone. Down there. Ahem. You have a good head. I mean. You have a nice voice!?
White Shirt: Wow, Shania loved me. *__________________*

Girl in Cowboy Boots: I once had an asthma attack so bad it nearly killed me. But I am still singing!
Simon: I don't like you.
Kara and Shania: We like you! We like you! We like you!
Randy: Oh fine.

Last Three Dudes: *all go through*

I am kind of impatient for the actual show to begin. >.>
Tags: fandom:ai
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