Rest of America: Looking like a fool witcher pants on the ground! :D
Glasses: I'll sing a song cowritten by Simon! Not to suck up or anything.
Simon: Well, it's a beautiful song...
Ryan: The road to Hollywood is paved with attention-seekers.
f: You can say that again.
Tan Lines + Tattoo: I can impersonate Britney Spears and talk with my mouth closed!
f: Now there's a talent.
Simon: *makes fun of her theatre background*
f: They're really desperate for another Prom Queen, aren't they?
Series of Fake-Outs: *are unimpressive*
Platoon of Re-Auditioners: *are unmemorable, apparently*
Hairspray Girl: Seven is my lucky number! I've used up seven cans of hairspray! Posh is a beautiful creature. This is my seventh time trying out!
Simon: You have a horrible voice. No number of trying again is going to fix this.
Ten Billion 16-Year-Olds: *do not suck*
Blondzilla: I'm a 6'8" swimmer. I am a beautiful man-flower.
Judges: Did you eat a twelve-year-old boy before coming here?
Musclezilla: I'm a personal trainer! :D
Judges: You're like a singing teddy bear.
Hippy Dress #982389298: I'm trying out in memory of my BFF who died 4 years ago.
Judges: We like you!
f: Holy crap, I really liked her too! Despite hippyness.
White Necklace Dude: My aunt took me in so I wouldn't be taken away from my biological parents by Social Services. I call her Mom now!
f: I wonder what his biological mom feels about that. o.O;;
Narcotics Anonymous: I have a really good heart. I want to recycle and help kids in Africa. This makes me star material.
f: You sang Katy Perry. That automagically disqualifies you. Ew. Grossest.
Polka Dot Skirt: I have seven siblings and we were really poor once!
Judges: We like you. You're cute.
FINALLY IT'S OVER. NEXT WEEK IT'S HOLLYWOOD TIEMZ AND ELLEN! I KIND OF HEART ELLEN, OKAY. >.>