I had remarked elsewhere that the only good thing about this story is that it was not written for help_haiti, and that's all I am going to say on the subject directly, because while I am extremely disturbed by what I have read, this does not hurt me the same way it hurts fen of colour, and I do not think adding my privileged voice to the chorus of outrage holds any value. (Please note that I am talking about me here; not you, not your white friend who posted about racism two weeks ago, not other white people, real or imagined. I think that the best thing for me to do besides being supportive in comments to PoC friends is to listen rather than post in my journal discussing my opinions of and emotional reactions to situations such as this one. What other people choose to do is their business.)
What I do want to comment on is an underlying vibe I have been picking up all over the place in recent months, and particularly during tonight's bout of link-hopping: that frank discussion of various forms of privilege has "ruined fandom".
It appears as though some folks are a bit miffed that they can no longer say (or write fiction about) stuff in a growing number of fandom spaces without having to "worry about" offending women, LGBTQ people, people of colour, the differently abled, and members of minority cultures (to name a few).
First of all, let me just say, and I mean this so very sincerely that I will even forgo a sparkly penis background to avoid completely trivialising the message of this very personal opinion of mine:
TOUGH SHIT, CUPCAKE.
If you don't want to "worry about" offending someone inadvertently but don't wish to expend any effort on thinking about things you write or say, I got some good news and some bad news for ya.
The bad news (for your perspective, at least) is that yes, there are now places in fandoms where you can't avoid "worrying about" being offensive, where you can't say shit thoughtlessly and not be called on it. That's right; it's true. These places, they exist.
They're far from taking over all fandoms in the world; I don't even think they are in the majority, and I think there is definitely a higher concentration of these places in certain fandoms. But yes, they are here. I think their existence is a good thing for fandom and even for humanity a little; you obviously disagree, but hey, here comes the good news.
The good news is that since you have already tacitly acknowledged that offending people is actually worth "worrying about", you could actually attempt to be an ally, so that the "worrying about" offending others would become a natural part of your existence and you might even come to know the experience as "wanting to do right by those who lack privilege" or even "not being a jerk".
The alternative good news is there are plenty of people out there who think just like you, so if you really don't want to bother with all that social consciousness crap and just want to read/write/discuss porn, all you need to do is find these like-minded souls and befriend them. Then you can be blithely offensive together, and righteously sneer at anyone who dares suggest this is wrong or bad! This is not a difficult thing to accomplish; all these minority-representative people who are "ruining your fandom fun"? Are in the minority to begin with, remember. You don't actually have to listen to them if you really don't want to, that badly.
Ignoring or avoiding these discussions isn't going to make you look or sound like an *ist. Complaining about them DOES. So if you don't like these discussions, if they're ruining your fandom experience, for Kinney's sake, don't pay attention to them. Don't read them.
I'll even put this gun down and point it away from your head to make it easier for you.