Pairing: Kougami Shinya/Ginoza Nobuchika
Disclaimer: Urobuchi et al own. I only play. You do not sue.
Summary: Ginoza just wants to tell Kougami one thing. Instead, he ends up hearing things he wished he wouldn't have to.
Note: Written for Short Precarious Anecdote Month.
Ginoza found Kougami in his quarters, staring at that damn photo of Sasayama again. This place never changed. Back wall overflowing with pictures and case file notes, glass bookshelves behind the couch, boxes still unpacked from when he'd moved in here after the demotion.
Kougami's habit of draping his jacket across the back of the ugly blue couch instead of hanging it up on the coat rack properly was also still in evidence. Ginoza guessed that once your Crime Coefficient reached a certain level, you just stopped moving forward the way normal humans did.
"Kougami," he said, shutting the door.
Kougami turned around with a look of surprise. "Gino? A bit late for you to be hanging around the CID so late after your shift has ended."
Ginoza adjusted his glasses. "There is something I wish to talk to you about."
"If it's about the Specimen Case, you don't need to worry. As much as I would like to, I won't get in your way."
"Of course you won't," Ginoza said. "You have been ordered to stand down. You know better than to disobey."
Kougami narrowed his eyes. "Like a good dog, right?"
"Precisely so," Ginoza replied with a shrug.
Kougami laughed bitterly. "You're so full of yourself, Gino. Crime Coefficients, Sibyl, Psycho Passes -- if all that didn't exist, we wouldn't be Enforcers, we wouldn't be dogs. People like us would be, I dunno, the International Association of Successful Individuals or something. Masaoka's cunning, Kunizuka's ruthlessness, Kagari's creativity, Shion's charisma, my adaptability -- these all used to be things that elevated people, made them leaders. People like you and Inspector Tsunemori were ever the pencil pushers, the desk riders, the do-gooder amount-to-nothings who never had any power no matter how talented you were. Because to lead people, you had to be willing to risk your principles, to get dirty, to experience pain. But now that people like you have all the power, it's going to your heads. You're going to end up driving the world into the same damn hole Sibyl was supposed to pull it out of, because you're still only human."
Ginoza's insides seethed. He didn't want to know what this was doing to his Hue. "You have no right to talk about humanity or principles; you allowed yourself to become no better than an animal."
Kougami snorted. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Gino."
"You think I enjoy this?" Ginoza asked.
"You never shut up about how beastly Enforcers are, so yeah, I do think you enjoy it. I think you're in love with the idea that you're better than me."
"That's not true."
It wasn't. Certainly, if Kougami hadn't been demoted, he would have been the Senior Executive now, not Ginoza, but that would have been fine. As an Inspector, Kougami had been his better, even though they'd started in the same year. Ginoza had no problem acknowledging the superiority of a fellow detective. Enforcers were another matter.
Kougami sat down on the couch with an incredulous shake of his head and lit a cigarette. "Anyway, did you come here just to push my buttons?"
"No. I've come to inform you that if you have any prurient interest in Tsunemori Akane, you had best keep it at bay."
"You can't be serious. She's practically a child." Kougami inhaled deeply and then blew smoke out towards the ceiling, where it curled lazily, dispersing.
"She's the most promising Inspector the department's seen in years."
"She's still a kid, just like a nine-year-old prodigy who wins every contest in whatever field is still a kid. Don't get me wrong, she's a good kid, I like her, I think she'll go far. Because the world is what it is and there is no International Association of Successful Individuals. The difference between people like me and people like whoever's behind the Specimen Case is that I don't want to get in the way of the world."
Why was he saying these things? He knew about Ginoza's rule. There was a line between them now no matter how prettily Kougami dressed up his latent criminal status.
"Spare me your self-pity, please. Just stay away from Tsunemori. That's all," Ginoza said, beginning to turn around.
"Could it be that you're jealous, Gino?" Kougami's voice held amusement. Ginoza fought the heat rising in his face.
"Do not be absurd. I have no such interest in Inspector Tsunemori."
This time, Kougami's laughter was outright mocking. "Oh, that's rich. Now you're pretending that you and me never happened?"
Ginoza straightened his back and squared him with a blank gaze. "I do not see how our brief entanglement is relevant to this discussion; it is in the past."
Kougami met his eyes, unflinching. "You're such a liar."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Ginoza looked away first.
"Were you always such an asshole or did I just not notice it before?"
"Insult me all you want," Ginoza mumbled, glaring at his feet. "As long as you do not respond to her advances, should she make any."
"You think Tsunemori has a crush on me?"
"I have a suspicion that she may." She'd been on the job less than two weeks, and she seemed completely taken with Kougami and his methods, instead of following the lead of her superior officer. What was that, if not infatuation?
Kougami sucked down the rest of his cigarette and stubbed it out. "You have no authority to make such a request of any Enforcer."
Ginoza met his eyes again. "I'm well aware that sexual relationships are not the purview of the Department's rules as long as mutual consent is obtained. Nonetheless--"
"If Tsunemori wants me, I won't refuse her." Kougami crossed his legs and leaned against where his jacket decorated the couch back.
"Just to spite me?" Ginoza asked.
"No, Gino. Have you seriously not noticed how single-minded she is? She's probably spent all her life up to now so intent on her studies that she's never even held hands with anyone. If what you think she feels is true, then I'm not going to let her first romantic interest turn into a heartbreak. I'm not with anyone right now, so there's no reason for me to refuse her."
"Was that why you didn't refuse me?" Oh, he hadn't meant to ask that. He should never have asked that, but Kougami's taunting had gotten to him, it seemed.
It's okay, I'll pretend I didn't hear that." Kougami must have noticed Ginoza's dismay to have the grace to say that.
But Ginoza refused to be in Kougami's debt in this way. Besides, he did want to know, if only to help put the troublesome Kougami matter at rest in his mind. "No, by all means, go ahead and answer the question."
"Why? It doesn't matter either way."
"You're right, it doesn't matter." It does, and Ginoza hates that it matters to him this much, after so many years apart, but it can't be helped. "Call it idle curiosity."
"All right," Kougami said, rising to his feet. "I didn't refuse you because I liked you, not because I didn't want to break your heart."
Liked? So it's in the past tense for him? "Well, that was all," Ginoza said.
He had failed to get a favourable response to his request, and now he would have to attend therapy sessions to deal with the turmoil in his heart. He should have been glad that Kougami's feelings had faded, but instead he felt betrayed and empty, wishing he could find a way to make his own feelings die already.
"All this time, I thought you really got over it, like you told me," Kougami said, staring intently at Ginoza's face. "I thought you really were that well-disciplined, but you aren't, are you?" He began to walk towards Ginoza. "All you have to do is come to me, Gino."
"Don't come any closer," Ginoza said. "You know I can't do that."
Kougami's eyes flashed. "No, it's not that you can't, it's that you won't. You think it would be coercive, that I'd go along just because you're the Executive Officer and I'm the Enforcer. You think the stupid fucking lines you draw for yourself are more important than your feelings. But your lines are drawn on a beach right before the tide comes in, Gino."
"As fascinated as I am to have my mind incorrectly read by you, I've got other places to be." How could he understand Ginoza's feelings so easily? How? I wish he would stop saying my name that way.
"What colour is your Pass right now, I wonder. Doesn't all that self-denial have negative effects on your psyche?" Kougami hadn't moved any closer, standing right where Ginoza had told him to stop, but it felt as though he filled up the whole room.
"Kougami, don't," Ginoza said, not really sure what he was trying to get Kougami to not do. "This isn't what I came for."
Kougami remained still. "I miss you, Gino. My feelings haven't changed."
"Fuck you. I hate that side of you; I always have," Ginoza said, seizing Kougami's tie in his hand. He could still stop this; he could leave. But that level of self-denial would affect his Hue. He couldn't stop wanting Kougami's warmth any more than he could stop feeling hunger.
He pulled Kougami in and kissed him.
Kougami's arms went around him in an instant; his embrace was everything Ginoza remembered -- powerful and ardent and impossibly warm. Kougami's lips parted beneath Ginoza's, as if inviting him to take it further -- I like it when you fuck my mouth with your tongue, Kougami used to say. The thought went right to Ginoza's primitive brain, and he resisted it, opting instead to flick his tongue against Kougami's lips now and again as their breathing grew shallow and their bodies pressed closer and closer together.
I could still stop this, Ginoza thought as Kougami ripped the front of his trousers open. He pushed them closer to the door, latched it shut behind Ginoza's back, pushed his tongue into Ginoza's mouth, making him shiver and moan and knead Kougami's shoulders with helpless fingers.
For all Ginoza could stop it, he didn't want to. His standard-issue underwear followed his trousers to the floor. Kougami lifted him up; Ginoza wrapped his legs around Kougami's midsection and let himself be carried to the couch, his cock smearing pre-come all over the front of Kougami's shirt.
Kougami lowered him into a sitting position, removed his fogged-up glasses and placed them on the far end of the couch, shoved his legs apart and knelt between them, then dragged Ginoza forward so half his ass hung off the couch. One of Ginoza's legs came to rest on Kougami's shoulder. He tried to move it, but Kougami grabbed it and held it in place.
"No, stay like this," he said. "The way your thighs quiver when you come, I really like it." Then he put his mouth to work and Ginoza forgot what he was going to say. No one but Kougami could draw such sounds out of Ginoza, no one could make him feel so good.
The door rattled.
Ginoza froze, and Kougami pulled back very carefully and quietly.
"Shinya-kun?" called Karanomori Shion's voice. She was shouting; the walls and doors here were quite thick. "I found something I'd like you to look at."
"I'm just in the middle of something," Kougami yelled, not moving from where he sat. "I'll come right over, okay?"
"All right, well, don't work your body too hard," she called, her voice receding.
Ginoza blinked at the door. "She knows you aren't alone?"
"No, I usually lock my door when I work out so I don't have to interrupt a set if someone decides to walk in." Kougami bent his neck slightly to tongue at Ginoza's balls. "What was I doing?"
"Never mind what you were doing," Ginoza said. "Karanomori needs you, doesn't she?"
Kougami gave him a look. "Your priorities never fail to leave me speechless, Gino."
"Yet you're still talking," Ginoza said, laying a hand down on top of his head.
Kougami licked a wet trail up the length of Ginoza's cock. "You're right," he murmured, tonguing at the slit. "Silly me."
"Stop teasing," Ginoza breathed. "Fuck me."
"There's no lube," Kougami said, pressing a kiss to Ginoza's stomach and tightening his grip on Ginoza's leg. "So this is all you get tonight."
"What about you?"
"You'll owe me one," Kougami said.
"I don't think so," Ginoza replied, sitting upright to push him away and make room for himself to slide down to the floor. "Take your pants off."
In the end, they brought each other off with their hands, sitting bare-assed on the cold floor with their legs on either side of each other and trying not to make too much noise in case Karanomori decided to come back. When Ginoza came, Kougami leaned back and licked his fingers clean, making Ginoza wish he could come twice in a row. His fist around Kougami's cock tightened involuntarily, and Kougami's expression changed; he moaned, pulled Ginoza close, and covered the head of his cock with this hands so he wouldn't come on Ginoza's shirt.
"I wasn't expecting this to conclude my evening," Kougami said after they both caught their breath and pulled apart.
"Neither was I," Ginoza said. What else was there to say? What was going to happen now? "What about Inspector Tsunemori?" he asked, retrieving his pants from the floor by the door.
Kougami buckled his belt. "What about her?"
"If she would like to pursue a relationship--"
"I'll tell her I'm taken." Kougami straightened his tie. "Unless you meant for this to be a one-time thing."
Ginoza looked at him, wondering if Kougami was offering him a way out of this, but he didn't want it. He wanted Kougami back, he had wanted him back all along; his dreams, after which he always had to sit in therapy, were proof of that.
If a man's principles got in the way of his Hue staying healthy, then he just had to change those principles.
"You're taken," Ginoza said.